Friday, August 06, 2010

A Visitor

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Monday, August 02, 2010


I walked up to the array of work elevators this morning and a man beat me to the UP button.

"Good job!" I said, giving him the thumbs up and a cheeky grin.

"I read your mind!" He said with an answering grin.

"Not hard to do on a Monday morning" I said with a sigh and pointed to my head. "There's not much up there yet!"

"That's not what they say on the bathroom wall!" The man quipped back.

I burst out laughing.

"Damn that Mr Clean and his magic eraser, that was supposed to be gone!"

He belly laughed as I stepped out onto my floor.

I made a pistol with my hand and aimed it at him.

"That was a good one!" I said, firing my finger trigger. "Pow, you got me!"

I could hear him laugh as the doors closed and the elevator whisked him away.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

What then is this fleeting thing we call life?

What then is this fleeting thing we call life?
We laugh. We cry. We fight. We sigh. We wish. We dream.
So many tumultuous emotions-so many.
For what?
What is the point of all of this? We are such fragile sacks of skin.
Time moves so swiftly, blurring everything around me.
I try and embrace each precious moment. In quiet times when surrounded by my little family, when I am most content-I close my eyes and breathe in the moment. I freeze the memory of the moment in my mind. A photograph I pull out in emptier times and stroke a finger along and smile a rueful smile for I know. I know time is fleeting.
Nothing lasts forever-or even for a lengthy time. It is here, and then it is not.
What is the point of all of this? Is there anything more? If there is not-then why the struggle? What is the reason for this bastardly struggle we call life?
I am now of the age where people are picked off, one by one. They are here and then they are not.
I miss them. I feel their loss deep inside me like a hollowed out crater.
I understand religion and the deep need to believe there is something more than this short existence and then--? But I cannot find escape in its hallowed walls. It is not the haven of peace for me.
I’m trying to wrap my mind around this fleeting thing called life and am fully, deeply, exhaustively aware that as I struggle to comprehend—time is continually moving forward, running over everything in its path.
I feel …powerless.
And yet, each morning I rise, dress, pack my work bag, close the door to my home tucking my little family away—and drive into the day.
Another checkmark on my timecard. I am here. I am present. I am…
I am wishing I could magically gather all whom I love and have loved and surround myself with them. I want to hold them close and freeze time. To stop the bullet train of time.
I cannot.
I cannot. So I will continue onward against the tide of time and do this thing called life.