The Haphazard Life of a Kat

It's almost WHAT?!!!

2011-12-14T15:44:00.000-08:00

Sheesh! Where has this year gone?? I just realized yesterday that Christmas is next week.

.....Next week, Peeps!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

My shopping has been done for awhile now--but mentally I am not prepared for this event.

I'd say, "where did the year go" but really, I'm so ready to put this difficult year behind me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving.

CHOMP well.

Embrace those you love.

Resist poisoning those you don't.

Captured Moment

2011-11-16T04:40:00.000-08:00

On a whim I used my iPhone to record my Mom as I sat by her bed. She couldn't respond to me but I wanted to bring something back to my siblings so they could feel like they were there with me. I recorded my hand holding and stroking her hand as they were the one thing that remained familiar to me. I panned the iPhone eye up to record her face and then back to my hand holding hers while my thumb stroked across her 85 year old knuckles.
I did not realize that I was capturing her last moments of life. That a few hours later she would slip away from this world.

Now I find myself playing that video over and over. It is infinetly precious to me.

Walking Ajijic

2011-11-10T03:33:00.000-08:00

LV and I went for a walk yesterday, into the heart of the village Ajijic. The place my Mother had made her home for the past 15 years.

The walk was laborious as the streets were made of large rock cobblestone. But the views...beautiful.

The Mexican people love color. All the houses from grand to shacks were painted in warm yellows, greens, reds and blues.

Red, orange and purple flowers crawled up and peeked over colored stucco walls while large cactus stood as prickly sentries.

It was a mix of old world and new. A Mercedes zoomed by us, as the dust settled an old man in a horse drawn cart clomped past.

We sat and had dinner at a little restaurant/bar along the shore of Lake Chapala. We sat outside on leather woven chairs and sipped our drinks at a tiny table covered with a festive Mexican table cloth.

We feasted on fresh guacamole, warm tortillas and melted cheese appetizers. Then gorged ourselves on steak strips, melted cheese and onion pieces that simmering in bubbling mexican sauce served in a large volcanic rock bowl.

For awhile the grief was pushed backwards and my mind fought hard to push through the numbness that has held it prisoner. It was a welcome respite.

We took our time and ambled slowly back to our hotel. Tired and dusty we plunked on the bed and rested our weary bodies.

I am thankful for the momentary peace. And for my wonderful LV who pushed past my fears and talked me into taking Chanda. (my beloved camera).

Time Frozen

2011-11-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Today I went to her little home.
The world was frozen in time while I walked amongst her things.
Schedule reminders. An unfinished book.
Her glasses lay amongst her notes on her desk.
And pictures...in every crevice. Of her home in Holland. Us kids growing up.
Silly nicknacks.
The only sound while I walked around in what had been her life--was the ticking of her kitchen clock.
I stared at it angrily. How dare it keep ticking after her heartbeat had stopped.
The memory of stroking her face before the funeral man took her away was still brutally etched in my mind.

I found notes to us kids. One in a pretty chest by her kitchen willing it to me.
"To (me), the best daughter a mom could ever have"

I felt my insides tremble--my inner batteries faulter as my strength waned.

Lord V called softly to me to stop. To let it go for today.

To recharge.

So I did. And I am. Recharging--to begin again tomorrow.

She is Gone

2011-11-07T05:35:00.000-08:00

She has passed on.

I woke up multiple times last night--each time I whispered a prayer for her Jesus to take her.

3:30 this morning He did.

Final Moments

2011-11-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

I sat holding her hand. It was the only thing that remained the same on her.
I sang songs to her. Spoke in Dutch to her. Told her i loved her.

Romantic dramas show people weeping at the bedside of dying family members--pleading for forgiveness or offering forgiveness of their own for past circumstances.

You know what? I stared into the face of the woman who raised me. Who filled my 46 years with angst. And the words of forgiveness were just so shallow. So meaningless. So trivial.

It was no longer my mother laying there. It was a person who shared a history with me and was now at the final moments of her life.

My brain said, "I forgive you"

My heart moved my mouth and spilled out every word of comfort it could offer...and when it ran out of words--i found myself singing to her. Songs she long held dear.

Her face turned toward me and her breathing softened.

In that moment i realized the shallowness of grudges. The trivialness of angst.

In the end you only wish peace.

A Few More Hours

2011-11-06T01:51:00.001-07:00

A few more hours and I will be in Mexico, holding the hand of EWO.

Last night was difficult, gathering up the pictures that were the slideshow of her life.

It was odd to view them with adult eyes instead of through the eyes of her child.

I saw for the first time, EWO as a woman, living her life...raising her children.

I remembered posing with her for a lot of the pictures...knowing that the smiling family looking into the cameras eye was just that...a pose.

But it was the pictures of a young, ambitious, adventurous EWO--before she became my mother...that pierced me.

What would it be like to be 85 at the end of your life...and have another gather your photo's. Images of your life...what would that someone see of my life?

Today...

2011-11-03T22:43:00.001-07:00

Today was a good day.

Things still loom heavy for my trip to EWO in Mexico...but today there were no emails, no phone calls...no responsibilities weighing me down.

It felt good to have a quiet lull in the emotional storm that has been my life of late.

Grief Trumps All

2011-11-02T14:56:00.000-07:00

A few more days and then I will be with EWO.

News today is she has brain cancer and a very short time to be here on this earth.

I find all the bad history I've tried so hard to rid my insides of--washed away in the tidal wave of grief.

Good, Bad, Evil..it is all gone.

I only think now to be able to reach her side before she passes so I can bring her comfort.

Tiny Gifts

2011-10-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

I was thinking yesterday that I could not recall a picture of EWO laughing.

She has a wonderful sense of humor. Wicked, childlike, quick.

All the pictures that have been taken of her over the years have been of her posing. Self conscious and reserved.

This morning I opened my email to find a letter from her brother in Holland. It was filled with encouragement and support...

and he had attached two pictures.

One. Was of EWO laughing.

It touched me.

Mexico Bound

2011-10-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

Lord V and I are headed to Mexico within the week.

So much planning, so many emails, so many phone calls...

Once the hotel and plane reservations were made the stress eased off a bit.

Final arrangements with our cellphone company this morning to allow us use of all our international features without losing our shirts. Complete.

Now we wait for the date to leave. To fly to the one who raised me. To smooth out the finishing edges of her life.

No matter the history, it is a hard thing to see the eminent end of ones parent.

Deep Breath

2011-10-22T00:05:00.000-07:00

Tis officially the weekend.

Thank God.

I need a moment to catch my breath.

To not be responsible for anything or anyone but myself.

This has been an unbelievable week.

EWO

2011-10-19T07:42:00.001-07:00

My brother called me yesterday afternoon. EWO has suffered a series of strokes. She asks often if her husband has called...and thinks I am 17 years old. Obviously she has lost a few years. My Father has been dead for 8 years now and I am 46.

When I was 17 I had left home. The last of her adopted children to leave her poisoned home. I did feel responsible for her and hadn't learned I could step away without being permanently tied to her, so I often called her after I had left home. She kept mentioning this to the Doctor. How her daughter would be calling her because she called her all the time.

The sadness this information brought to me was mixed with an oil spill of guilt. I am sad that the independent life of what made EWO is now done. Relief, guilt, sadness swirls around inside me.

I will be flying to Mexico soon, to close up her home and box her mementos. Her friend who has been caring for her is coordinating with me on choosing a care home for EWO to live in.

This wonderful friend who has watched over EWO since my dads passing. Who has dropped everything to run to EWOs aid when called. This Saint...told me EWO said to her, "you know I like you. I hope you know that. But I don't like spending time with you."

Sigh.

I am sad...but the guilt is being sopped up quickly by the empty sponge she installed inside me so many years ago.

Oh Siri

2011-10-18T10:35:00.001-07:00

Lord V got up at 3am to order my new iPhone 4s the minute they became available...which causes my heart to sing:

Oh Baby, how do I love Thee? Let me ask Siri to count the ways.

"Dear Siri, how much do I love Lord V?"

Kat, I do not understand Lord B

"Lord Veeeeee"

I do not understand Lord B

"Lord Valtimore"

I have located Baltimore

"Lord VEEEEEEEE"

I have found 12 Lord places in Baltimore

"no no NO! Lord Veeeeee....oh nevermind!"

Kat, I don't understand nevermind

ARGH!

GIRL PUNCH!

2011-10-07T17:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Creepy Middle Aged Man who shared the elevator with me this morning,

I do not like you, Creepy Middle Aged Man

You who tried to block me from keying in this morning so you could go first.

I do not like you, Creepy Middle Aged Man

You who slithered in the elevator with me and then stared at me the entire ride up--the whole three floors.

I know I looked like I ignored you but I was really plotting girl punching you in the nose...in my head.

Blows the Cobb Webs off the Blog

2011-10-06T16:11:00.000-07:00

Phew! Look at the last date of my last post!

TSK.

I've been neglectful.

Let's see. Updates.

No-longer-mini "MiniWarrior" is in 8th grade now. He stands 5'10 tall and clomps around in size 11 man shoes.

I find myself staring at him, fascinated by this half man that has poltergeisted (that is SO a word!) my MiniWarrior, stretching out his skin so he towers over his Momma.

I know it's a poltergeist because now when I ask my sweet MiniWarrior to do something for his Momma his adorable high pitched voice drops 4 octaves and something garbled and growly spews forth sounding like "Whatever" followed by a hissing "Kahhhhhhhhhh" sound that causes his eyes to roll back in his head and his shoulders to lurch and hunch in torturous spasms.

I'd call an exorcist but I'm afraid that something gruesome will flop outta him and consume me in my sleep.

Lord V is doing grandly. Well, now that his funny bone has healed. Which he broke while riding his bike up a hill.

"What the &%$!" I hear you ask?

Yes. His funny bone. Which, if it wasn't so sad, is quite ironically hilarious because he is a man who prides himself on his witty puns.

Puns so bad that a groan from deep inside ones large intestine will roll its way out and up, spewing out of your mouth in a gravelly monster sounding moan.

I gotta admit. It's a skill I admire.

So yeah. His funny bone is all healed now, except his can't quite straighten his arm.

"My life as a Superhero is doomed" He says. "I'd be flying in circles 'cuz of my bum wing."

"See?" He says, thrusting out his arms in a flying Superman pose.

I laugh and shake my head. He's still the man of steel in my eyes. Bum wing and all.

Bob-a-roo

2011-06-23T21:48:00.001-07:00

I knew him only from the pages of Blogland.

For 4 years he faithfully followed my blog smattering my comment box with humor and encouragement.

His name was Bob. I referred to him as Bob-a-roo. Bob seemed too plain a name for such a warm, wonderful human being.

I received the news tonight I knew was coming yet it speared through me.

Bob lost his fight and slipped from this world.

I cannot imagine not seeing another post from him.

I cannot fathom not ever seeing his name pop into my comment box, never failing to bring me a smile even on my darkest of days.

He will be missed.

God. Will be missed? I miss him already.

I know life has to end at some point but I was not ready to lose Bob-a-roo.

My friend.

Tiny Thank You

2011-05-27T11:29:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I let the dog out for his morning bathroom break. I followed behind him to guard against any rogue coyotes that might view him as a snack. We had seen a couple of coyotes slinking around in the daylight hours...quite alarming as we had, up until the sighting, allowed our little Bichon to roam the back yard, unguarded.

While waiting for the dog to do his business, I noticed the hummingbird feeder had gone dry. I unscrewed it from its tree tether and filled it with red hummingbird juice and reattached it to the tree.

A few hours later, armed with my hello kitty blanket, a soda and a People magazine, I snuggled into the chaise lounge on our terrace to soak in some afternoon sunshine.

The wind had a bite to it, hence the hello kitty cover, but the sunshine felt divine on my flu/cold/plague body.

Deeply immersed in my People magazine (it was the photo shoot of the royal wedding *girl squee!*) I became aware of an odd little squeaking noise. It sounded like a cassette tape being quickly rewound (for those of us old enough to remember what those where...).

I peered over my magazine to find a tiny hummingbird fluttering in front of me chirping away!

I stared at it for a moment in amazement. It was so close I could have reached out and touched it.

"chitter chitter chitter" it said. Its wings fluttering like a fan blade set at high speed.

"Your welcome" I said. And the hummingbird zoomed off.

I sat for a moment while my brain tried to catch up with the moment. I had the odd feeling of being in a waking dream.

Did that just happen? My brain asked.

That was so freaking awesome! The forever child who lives inside me answered and pumped her fist in glee.

Reflections from my Sick Bed.

2011-05-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

I have been ill this past week. After 2 visits to the doctor the diagnosis is "a bad virus". Prescription? Gatorade.

Seriously?

Yup.

And it worked like a miracle drug.

I feel myself beginning to crawl out of the pit of sickness back into normalcy.

I am still coughing like my body is trying to turn itself inside out.

I'm still terribly weak and cannot quite fathom how I am going to survive an entire day at work tomorrow...

But, I am on the path to wellness.

You know the strange thing about being ill? Everything around you becomes skewed.

The little things take on more meaning. The things you thought were so important, you find were just burdens you put upon yourself and really didn't need to carry.

I think this revelation comes when you are forced to stop moving. Forced to lay still for hours at a time with nothing left to do but reflect.

I know as soon as I am fully well again I will be embracing life full speed again and these fleeting insights will get shoved back into a memory drawer.

But today, today I am too weak to move faster than a snail on a bed of gravel.

Today I shall document my reflections for my busy self to read when I am well again.

Dear Busy "healthy" Self:

Sunshine is divine.

The feel of it soaking into my skin feels better than the sip of an iced mocha I spend trudging through lines of people and traffic to acquire.

Time is relevant.

Rushing full tilt to try and ring every precious minute of a day makes the day seem shorter and less pleasurable.

Spending an hour laying still, drinking in a story a clever author has spun seems to suspend time.

Why is that?

These are the revelations I have come to today.

I shall try to remember this when I am well and chasing life by its tail.

But for now, I must crawl back into my sofa nest and reflect while my body twists and heaves to remove this dreaded virus from its pores.

Peace...

2011-05-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

She has gone to her friends house. For how long, I don't know. Perhaps for the duration of her visit? I hope...

She didn't say goodbye and LV said she was oddly distant when MW came home from school.

Considering it's been a year since she's last seen him, I have to shake my head at her.

Many MANY kudo's go to my beloved LV for enduring 2 days with her while I was at work. He is a clever man and eased my stress by totally "getting" her proliferation of lies she weaves like poisoned threads.

I did not for one moment feel I had to backtrack through conversations he had with her while I was out of defending ear shot. I know with all sincerity that LV knows me, understands me to my core being and not only loves me but likes who I am.

Do you know how precious that is? How dear?

The quiet peace of our home is restored and the balance of gentleness and goodness is settling around me filling in the cracks she left behind.

I love my life.

I love my little family.

I love the home we have built together.

I love...being able to breath again.

Jagged Thoughts

2011-05-08T23:23:00.001-07:00

It is late but I don't want to go to bed.

If I go to bed it means today is officially over and I'll awake to the day I dread.

She is arriving tomorrow evening.

EWO.

She is 83 now. So old. So many years of life.

She plans this arrival on the day after Mothers Day.

I don't want to celebrate her being my Mother.

I don't want to hurt her...but how does one say, "I don't want to think of you as my mother?"

I spend every day of my life squashing memories of the time she wore that label and had me under her control.

I did not feel this anger. This sadness...this disgust until the day I held my son in my arms for the first time.

Every year that passes (in raising my son) opens my eyes to just how horrible of a "mother" she was.

I fight with my entire being to prevent my son from feeling pain. My soul lights up when he laughs and his eyes dance with happiness.

I kiss and hug him as often as he will let me.

I cannot understand how a Mother would feel or do anything less for her child.

But she is 83.

She is at the ending years of her life.

And I cannot make myself say the words to her I feel rolling around inside me like jagged pebbles.

I cannot hurt her.

As she has so often hurt me.

Lives Within a Life

2011-04-06T07:30:00.000-07:00

I do not believe in reincarnation...but I do believe we live many lives within this one fragile life we have been given.

In my 45 years on this earth, I have been many different people.

A baby known as "the non thriving one" who became the "foster one" who then became the "adopted one".

The adopted one who became the possession of an odd menagerie of other "adopted ones" mashed into one unit called "family".

Finally grown, I left the mashed adopted family unit and became the "American girl" who lived on a tiny island in Holland. I was the "foreigner who became Urkish."

Later, I moved to college in Minnesota and became "the college girl".

Then later, the "young married girl" who married her college friend.

I was "the nanny" of a beautiful baby girl who grew into an adorable little girl.

I was a "Minnesotan".

Fleeing the harsh winters of Minnesota I drove to the Northwest and became a "Washingtonian".

I searched, found, embraced and became "the found one" when I reconnected with my birth family.

I discovered, rejected and became the "divorced one" when I discovered the one I loved--was busy "loving" multiple others.

so many lives...too many to list...

now I am living a life I do not wish to lose.

I do not wish to change.

I am Mom. Lover. Friend. Daughter.

But life moves forward.

Endlessly forward...

Until it stops.

6 Minutes...

2011-03-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

It seems I have blinked and another week slipped by.

How quickly the time flies. How fleeting the friableness of life.

I watched a video of the Tsunami in Japan. It was 6 minutes long.

In that 6 minutes buildings and homes were wrenched from their foundations and tossed about like toys.

6 minutes.

The time it takes you to run to the bathroom during a commercial break, fix yourself a snack and plop in front of your favorite show.

We toil, we gather, we create.

We laugh, we love, we yell, we debate.

We live quietly or with great passion.

And do all this now with the knowledge that in 6 minutes everything we have worked for. Everything we know can disappear.

We are no longer innocent. The tragedy in Japan has taught us, the observers, the frailty of life.

6 minutes.

How many of those have I wasted on:

Silly arguments

Complaining

Laziness

Wishing...

I think I am going to make a vow. That for 6 minutes each day I shall:

Devote myself to working on a project I have procrastinated on.

Sitting down and playing Mario's with my son.

Sitting down beside my man and listening to something he is fascinated by.

Kneeling on the floor and giving the dog a belly rub.

Picking up a toy and playing with the cat.

Pausing for a moment and calling a friend just...because.

6 minutes.

For those whom have lost all in that fragile bit of time.

Sunday

2011-03-13T22:24:00.001-07:00

Darkness presses against the windows of the family room.

Frogs are croaking love songs from the terrace fountain.

The fire whispers a lullaby inside where I and the ones I love are finishing up our day.

It is the end of my weekend. I am packing my mental bags and getting them ready for the start of my work week.

One more item to do and then I shall close the book on this weekend and crawl inside my flannel sheets and close my eyes.

Spring forward. Time change today.

I feel a tingle of happiness that Spring is rounding the corner with Summer a few car lengths behind.

Winter is hanging on though. She blew around today stomping her feet and beating against the freshly budding trees.

She is moody...for she knows her time is short.

I share her moodiness. I am clinging to the last dredges of my weekend trying to wring the last few moments from it.

But it is time.

Sigh.

Time I am off to bed.

Saturday

2011-03-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

It's raining.

The Columbia River is speckled with fishing boats filled with soggy hopeful people.

The coffee pot is chugging its final chug. The inviting smell of fresh perked coffee wafts from the kitchen and into the family room enticing me.

Two birds squabbling over something just smacked into the window with a alarming thud. They swooped away again in a dizzy drunk man wobble. I'm much relieved.

Both my men are sleeping. Gabby Abby sits beside me staring out the window and chattering at the birds.

The dog is snoozing on the sofa, nestled in the folds of my Hello Kitty blanket.

The day yawns before me. Things are still wondrously quiet and peaceful. The morning is still mine alone.

Soon the sounds of life, family and love will fill the walls and my day will officially begin.

But in this moment. It is as if my world is holding its breath. Time is suspended.

And I am floating on a soft cloud.

Rain Rain Rain and more Rain...

2011-02-28T22:29:00.001-08:00

I awoke to the sound of rain dancing against the windows of our home.

I scampered out of the house and made a run through the pounding rain to my truck.

I drove to the Park and Ride while it slashed at my windshield and swooshed against my tires.

I flicked open my umbrella and darted from my truck to the Bus.

I sat in the bus on the way to work while my sodden umbrella dripped against my pant leg.

I clambered out of the bus and splashed into a puddle on my Portland bus stop.

I slogged through the down pour hunkered under my umbrella to the train stop.

I rode the train while my umbrella left a trail of water trickling down the aisle of the train.

I splashed through the rain soaked sidewalk and into my building.

I walked with my umbrella covering my boss and I as we trudged to Starbucks for our morning coffee.

I spent the next 4 hours wiggling my toes in my soaked tennis shoes while I plinked data on spreadsheets on my computer and sipped my coffee.

I tugged on my coat, grabbed my gym bag and hid myself beneath my dripping umbrella as I headed out to the gym on my lunch hour.

I stood under the shelter of my crying umbrella while I awaited the train.

I dropped my iPhone and watched it bounce in a stream of water running along the sidewalk.

I left the shelter of my umbrella to rescue my phone and shook the rain from my hair while I sighed with relief that my phone was unbroken.

I slogged back from the gym to work through the sodden streets of Portland and sat in my cubicle wiggling my toes in my soaked tennis while making a note to wear boots tomorrow.

I exited my work and splashed through the streets to my bus stop.

I stood in a miserable line of umbrella sheltered humanity while we waited for our bus to take us home.

I sat in the bus reveling in the heater blowing on my water logged feet.

I wiped condensation and fog from the window and stared at the water splooshing and splashing on the ride home.

I pulled up and trudged to the front door of my home and stood shaking the day from my shoulders in the entry way.

Now I sit in warm socks while the fireplace is dancing with warm orange flames.

Lord V sits reading while the cat lays curled upon his lap like an orange blanket and the dog lays snoring on the sofa.

The rain slashes against the windows but I don't care.

I wiggle my warm toes against the carpet beneath my feet and I can't help but...

Smile.

Golden Moments

2011-02-26T00:10:00.001-08:00

It's Midnight.

The house creaks around me as it settles in for the night.

My little family is asleep.

The animals are softly snoring, dreaming of bacon, large balls of string and fields to romp in.

My eyes are tired but I find myself reluctant to let go of this peaceful private time and trudge onward to bed.

These are the golden moments of my life. When nothing pressing demands my attention. No stress is rumbling in the recesses of my belly.

A weekend of family and friend time lays ahead of me and I am gloriously content.

Much loved.

And blessedly happy.

Huzzah!

2011-02-22T22:42:00.001-08:00

Rock. On!

Bah Humbug...

2011-02-20T17:37:00.000-08:00

By the time I dropped MW at his Dad's and turned my truck towards home, the sun had hidden itself behind drizzle clouds.

The Winter winds picked up and my plans of tromping through the Japanese Gardens moved to my future "TO DO" list.

No problem. I had a back up plan in case it rained. Liam Neeson's movie UNKNOWN opened this weekend so Lord V and I headed out at 2:30 to go see it.

There were only 2 seats left (sigh) so we bagged that plan.

Undaunted we headed out to Borders books. I didn't buy a book though as LV gave me a Kindle for Valentines Day and I'm so in love with it I didn't want to buy a book that I couldn't read on my new device.

Next we stopped at Beacock Music store where I snagged a Guitar book and then home again.

I tried out my new book (not impressed) then went online and found some "how to play the Blues" videos on line and shazam! I'm so in love!

Yeah...so that is my new thing I am trying. The thing I pulled off my dream list and exposed to the light of day.

I bought an Acoustic guitar and am learning the Blues!

I. LOVE. It! I'm so glad I took it off my hidden list and made the big purchase.

Thanks for the encouragement, Peeps :)

Y'all are a grand bunch of Bloggy friends!

Sun!

2011-02-20T09:02:00.001-08:00

Another surprisingly SUNNY day here!

Lord V and I are going to head out to tromp through the Japanese Gardens in Portland today.

CHANDA field trip! :)

WOOP!!

The List...

2011-02-16T14:18:00.000-08:00

You know that list you hold in the secret place inside you?

The one you pull out and ponder from time to time.

You know, the one that starts with, "Someday I'll...?"

I pulled an item off my list today and exposed it to the light of day.

I think I'm going to erase it off my "Someday I'll..." list and move it to the

"Today I began..." one.

I'm not ready to share it yet. It's still my secret.

I think I shall keep it in classified status until I am sure it can endure sunlight exposure ;)

What made me pull it off my secret list?

This quote that someone had carved into the side of a building downtown Portland.

"Friend, it's time to turn the corner and find where you began. Begin again with all you lost but never forgot."

Wish me luck, Peeps.

I'm taking a brave step forward.

New Job

2011-02-15T19:36:00.001-08:00

An official week has been completed at my new job and...

I LOVE it!

After a grueling 16 years I find myself smiling when I wake up in the morning and smiling when I'm stuck in the rush hour commute home.

I keep looking over my shoulder waiting for the "bad" thing to happen where I will lose my happiness but so far? So far, it just keeps getting better.

Good good times, Peeps. Good good times.

Gabby Abby High Queen of ....

2011-02-10T22:27:00.000-08:00

DRAMA!

U keen nawt resist mwah. U keen nawt!

I can haz internets?

2011-02-07T21:45:00.001-08:00

CHOMP

The Fog

2011-02-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

The fog descended last night like a giant eraser, removing all color and replacing it with a white palette.

Beyond the border of our yard we could see nothing but white.

This morning it still lays thick around us but images are slowly appearing like an unfinished painting.

The Culprit

2011-02-05T11:40:00.001-08:00

I was stricken last night with a horrid tummy ailment. I assumed it was from the codeine medicine I took in the afternoon...but now I suspect the flu had been looming and the codeine spurred it into action.

This morning I awoke thinking I may yet survive and was tentatively cooking up some rice cereal to fill my fragile tummy.

The water had just begun to boil when a horrible retching sound came from a corner of the family room behind me...

Gabby Abby, our little red bulimic kitty had deposited her breakfast on the carpet.

My tummy clenched and rolled and I found myself once again a prisoner on the sofa for the day :(

She does look a wee bit guilty, doesn't she?

*sigh*

New Job Goodness!

2011-02-04T23:47:00.000-08:00

So I'm starting a new job on Monday.

Normal hours. (no more 4:30am wake ups)
No working holidays (BOOYA!)
No working Weekends (Woop woop!!!)

I'm so looking forward to my first official Sunday off in 16 years!

SUPER BOWL!

Bring. It.

MiniWarrior~ism

2011-02-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

MW chatting with his Cousin about EWO (evil wrinkled one)

MW: Do you like EWO?

Cousin: um...yeah...

MW: She's kinda mean.

Cousin: um...yeah...

Cousin: She tried to make me eat a raw onion.

MW: Ew. A raw onion? Why?

Cousin: She didn't want to make me dinner.

MW: That's weird.

Cousin: She's really old.

MW: and wrinkly!

Cousin: (giggle) yeah...

MW: She's got deep fried skin!

Autism: The Fight for Normalcy

2011-01-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

When MW was 3, his Dad and I took him to a child psychologist because he was having anger issues in the head start program he was in.

We didn't know he was Autistic then, but I had been reading anything and everything I could on his symptoms and had met a lady online who had an Autistic daughter and had gently pointed out that she thought MW might also be Autistic.

Within 10 minutes after meeting and working with MW, the child psychologist told us without a doubt that MW was Autistic.

My first reaction? Intense relief.

I had been arguing and fighting with Doctors since he was 18 months. I knew something was "off" with him. I had been repeatedly told that he was "precocious" "high strung" "manipulative"...etc.

Now that I had a diagnosis I could work towards getting MW specific help.

First, I had to learn what Autism meant. I already knew the symptoms of it through dealing with MW's behavior...but I had to learn what he was experiencing inside his head so that I could understand and help him.

For those whom have followed my blog, you know a bit of our journey.

One of the milestones in MW's and my life was a question I asked the psychologist.

MW could not be outside the house for longer than 20 minutes a day. I had to get everything done in that space of time. Every errand had to be condensed into one stop.

Back then they did not have the mega super stores they have now where you can basically get all your shopping done in one store.

Taking MW with me on my errands was a nightmare. He would cry and scream primal screams the second I stepped into a store. I would spend a good hour preparing him for my entry into a store to try and prevent the screams.

Along our journey I had learned that over head lights and sounds were extremely invasive on his nervous system. Close your eyes and think of walking into a supermarket. The bright lights, the clanging of cash registers, the raised voices of people. The intercom system announcing specials of the day. Now imagine the filter in your brain that closes off the nonsense noise is broken. You see, hear and smell everything.

MW's endurance of the overwhelming flood to his nervous system was about 20 minutes a day. That is all he could handle before he shut down and screamed in agony.

I asked the psychologist if MW would ever out grow the inability to be outside the home for longer than 20 minutes a day. She told me, "No. He would probably never get past that 20 minute mark."

I couldn't accept that. I wouldn't accept that for him. What kind of life would he have?

I started taking MW to the Mall. One stop shopping that had multiple shops inside with their different sounds, lights, environments.

I would entice him to go further and further into the mall with, "Let's go get some ice cream at the ice cream shop." Or "Let's go get a toy at the toy store" Or "Let's go look at the cool sword shop".

Little by little he stretched and his system learned how to adjust to the different sounds and smells.

When he was 5 and wanted a new pair of flashing tennis shoes I took him to Target directly from daycare and tried to find him some.

Target did not have them. I braced myself for his screams of frustration...but the screams did not happen. He was calm.

I gently asked if he wanted to try Payless which was right down the road. He surprised me with, "Yes Mom. Let's go there."

I packed us back in the car and drove to Payless. They didn't have the flashing shoes either. I slumped inside knowing MW would have been pushed past what he could handle and steeled myself for his raging frustration.

It did not come.

When I told him there were no flashing tennis shoes, he calmly accepted the news and patiently waited while a store clerk measured his foot and found him a cool pair of tennis shoes that didn't have lights in them.

I paid for our purchase and headed out. Halfway home it hit me. We had done it. We had shopped for an hour and a half and he hadn't screamed! We had gone to multiple stores and MW hadn't cried. He had compromised on an item that he had been fixated on...and he had not fallen apart.

We. Had. WON!

We had taken that 20 minute diagnosis and had crushed it. It was the proudest moment of my life.

Now we face another hurdle.

MW is 13.

Right now we are faced with another diagnosis.

A psychologist had told us that MW loses concentration every 15 seconds.

He is very good about bringing his focus back...but he loses it..every 15 seconds.

This means someday:

He will not be able to drive.

He won't be able to go to College.

He won't be able to hold a real job.

He won't be able to live on his own without help.

MW is starting to realize this.

The other night he lay on the couch and said, "Mom, I want to have a real life. I want to be able to drive. To have a good job. To go to College. I want a real life."

It tore my heart in pieces.

He left the room and I put my face in my hands and cried.

Lord V came in the room and saw me crying. I told him what MW had said and we both sat with heavy hearts, aching at the unfairness of it all.

It was so damn unfair. So unfair that this beautiful boy could not have the same life that we all take for granted.

Later that night I took MW to his once a month Autism game night, where he got to hang with other Autistic kids while parents talked to each other.

I talked about what MW had said. How he wanted to drive and have a normal life and how it broke my heart.

Each parent shook their head and shared in the heart break. They threw up their hands and said, "What are we going to do?" "What is going to happen to our kids?"

I left that night without an answer.

But, this morning I awoke with a new resolve.

I'm done crying. I'm finished.

I am not going to accept this lack of life for our precious MW.

I. Am. NOT.

I'm done sitting on the sidelines. I am not going to accept this new diagnosis.

We are going to fight. MW is going to beat this.

He will drive.

He will have a good job.

He will live successfully on his own.

HE WILL BEAT THIS.

He is too precious. Too wonderful. Too amazing to accept anything other than the best life he can possibly have.

I won't accept anything else.

The Morning Show

2011-01-27T13:46:00.000-08:00

I dropped MW off at school early this morning and headed towards the gym and my hour of torture.

While paused at a stop light the sun peeked through the fog and illuminated the sky in a brilliant shower of swirls and colors.

I found a little dirt road that faced towards the sunrise and pulled my truck over.

I hopped out with my Iphone clutched in my hand and scrambled up a dirt embankment so I could try and capture the suns show.

It. Was. Spectacular.

A few more of the pictures can be see here: a kats eye view and haphazardkat365

Two Claws UP!

2011-01-25T09:30:00.000-08:00

Lord V and I watched a really good movie last night via Netflix Play it now.

Movie: The Maiden Heist (2009)

Stars: Christopher Walken, William Macy, Morgan Freeman and Marcia Gay Harden.

It was sweet and LOL funny in a very subtle way.

The actors were wonderful in their understated roles.

It was a movie you had to watch closely to catch all the subtle movements of the actors that once you see them, they do not fail to leave you laughing in surprised delight.

They obviously had a lot of fun in their roles.

I absolutely loved this movie!

Blank Pages

2011-01-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

My 3rd grade teacher once handed us a blank sheet of paper and told us to draw anything that came to mind while she played "The Nutcracker" on the old classroom record player.

I remember closing my eyes and immersing myself in the beautiful, magical notes of the song.

I longed to fill my blank page with the images the song swirled inside my head but I could not. I was a woeful artist.

That blank page and my inability to create anything adequate on it haunted me for years.

In college I thought: Well I can't be an artist so maybe I can become a writer and describe the images trapped in my head.

I wrote a couple of books over the next few years but the colors and images inside my head were still trapped. The blank page continued to haunt me.

I turned my efforts to fill that page with photography.

My first attempts were as inept as my drawing skills. I chopped off peoples heads, one of my fingers were always in the shot, I snapped billions of pictures where only a handful were passable enough to pin to a family album-but I felt something stir inside of me.

I kept shooting. And shooting. And shooting.

Digital cameras caught on and started quickly replacing film and I was suddenly free to shoot as many pictures as I wanted.

I became a mad woman. I took pictures of everything and slowly the blank page that haunted me for so many years began to fill with the swirls and colors of my minds eye.

When a writer or artist is asked: How do you find the time to do what you do? How do you do it?

I understand their answer.

You write because you cannot not write.

You draw because you cannot not draw.

I don't go anywhere without some form of camera. I've become known as "the picture taker".

My page is less blank these days. I'm obnoxious in my passion to fill it with my images but have found nothing but support from family and friends in my pursuit.

Thank you Mrs. Traci for placing that page in front of my 8 year old person.

and thanks to my friends and family for your sighs and patient smiles as I make you all pause so I can take one more shot. Just one more. Wait...one more...

Photo blogs of mine:

Vita non est vivere sed valere vita est

Mobile City: Iphone Images

A Kats Eye View

Monsters and Angels Among Us

2011-01-23T07:40:00.000-08:00

I watched Datelines video clip of the woman who had brought the little 9 year old girl to meet the Congresswoman Giffords in Tucson.

How horrible would that be--to be the person responsible for another person child--and then to lose her in such a monstrous way?

We have been saturated with details of that horrific day.

The crazy young man who loaded his guns and snuffed out the lives of strangers because...because he could.

And the heroic people who fell upon others to protect them from the bullets, giving their lives so others could live.

What thin line separates us from monsters and angels?

I am sad, Peeps. Sad for the parents who lost their precious little girl.

Sad for the woman who covered her face during an interview and wept at the loss of the little one she had been entrusted with.

How do they ever come back from such a loss?

A House of Sickness

2011-01-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

MW was sick yesterday with the flu. He seems to have rebounded today but I find myself with the hung over feeling of on coming flu :(

Will I be able to keep my date with the gym?

...

Found: Lost Pictures of New York Blizzard

2011-01-21T12:08:00.000-08:00

This video is heart warming. And as photography is a passion of mine--it has an added warm meaning to me :)

GROAN...

2011-01-20T16:15:00.000-08:00

It's official. The Holidays for our little family is officially over.

Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays are finished for awhile.

Playtime is over. It's now time to embrace the meat of the year 2011.

I have made a considerable dent in my New Year resolutions but I still have major goals to work on.

A mini goal I have for the rest of this month is to hit the gym every day until February 1st.

*groan*

I am already shuddering under the burden of that goal...

Humpday=Friday!

2011-01-19T07:52:00.000-08:00

It is my Friday, Peeps!!

For those of you who's Wednesday is just a Humpday (the 13 year old in me giggles that word) who are experiencing bitterness at my rubbing in the fact today is my FRIDAY *cough-rub rub-cough*...know this...

My days of having Wednesdays as my Fridays is soon coming to an end. BOO! :(

After 16 years I am moving from my Engineer position to an Admin position with another group...provided they finally send me my offer letter *mutter*...

Normal hours: no more getting up at 4:30AM for long 10 hour days.
Normal work days: Monday-Friday. No more weekends and no more Holidays :D

I'm tired, Peeps. I'm feeling my age and am ready for some normalcy.

It does seem odd to leave the group I've been in for the past 16 years, but I'm ready.

I'm embracing change, Peeps :)

A dawning of a new era.

365 captured moments: New Blog

2011-01-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

I have borrowed the idea of capturing 2011 with 365 snapshots.

http://haphazardkat365.blogspot.com/

Cuz I needed ONE more photo blog to keep up, right?! :)

Tomorrow He is 13...

2011-01-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my ~~Mini~~ Warrior.

I shall hide my Mom tears...as promised ;)

MW Celebration

2011-01-16T11:05:00.000-08:00

Today MW and his stepbrother celebrate their birthdays.

His official birthday is not until Tuesday--but as they are both in the same classroom at school and therefore share the same friends, it's easier to do the combined birthday bash of bowling/arcade playing/package ripping/cake eating/soda swilling goodness!

My baby is turning 13, Peeps.

Thirteen!

I shall follow MW's command of:

"Now Mom...I'm growing up. No crying at my birthday!"

and swallow my Mom tears (at least in his immediate presence)

There shall, of course, be pictures.

(...to be continued)

Shh! Don't Wake The Man Child!

2011-01-15T07:59:00.001-08:00

It's Saturday, my morning to sleep in, but my eyelids sprung open at 6:49am exposing my eyeballs to a brand new day.
I toyed with the idea of forcing my eyelids to recover my eyeballs but it was too late. My eyeballs told my brain, "HEY! A new day!" and my brain sent my hips, knees, elbows and spine out on the highway of "Get the hell up!"

...so I did.

And here I am, sleepy, creaky and un-caffeinated, hiding upstairs in my Hello Kitty office because there is a soon-to-be-13 man child that has a blood hound nose for freshly perking coffee and...god help me...

once awakened the beast will begin his daily regiment of "let's break Mom with 3 billion facts and questions squished into the time the coffee finishes perking".

Which pretty much goes like this:

Hey Mom?

grunt

Which do you like best. Mario or Luigi?

grunt

I think I like Mario better because he's shorter and plumper than Luigi and has a bigger mustache.

grunt

Do you think Mario is plumper than Luigi?

grunt

Hey. That's-a not-a nice-a! I'm-a not-a fat-a!

Yes-a you-a are-a!

I spit fireballs at you!

PLOINK PLOINK PLOINK

Ahhhhh!

Thats-a what-a you-a get-a for-a calling me-a fat-a!

Momma-mia Mario is-a spitting fireballs at me-a!

grunt

Hey Mom?

grunt

Who do you think eats more mushrooms. Mario or Luigi?

grunt

I think Mario because he's fatter.

Do you think Mario is fatter than Luigi?

grunt

Hey-a!

Well-a you are-a!

How-a rude-a!

I'm-a not-a rude-a!

yes-a you-a are-a!

No-a I'm-a not-a!

Mom! Do you think Luigi is rude?

grunt

Hey Mom?

...

Hey Mom?

...

Hey Mom?

...

Hey Mom?

grunt

Do you like Mario in red overalls or blue overalls?

...

God. Help. Me.

It's Very SPLOOSHY Outside!!

2011-01-12T13:50:00.000-08:00

The cold snap is finished and the ~~%$#!~~ blessed Northwest rain has returned!

I darted out on my lunch time and snapped a few iPhone pics of Portland in the rain.

Go HERE: http://iphone-city.blogspot.com for more pics :)

Beats snow. Gotta say that!

Happy 1-11-11 !!

2011-01-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

When I was little I was a dedicated night owl. My mother would insist I get to bed by 7pm thinking I would get 10-11 hours of needed childhood sleep.

Nope.

I used to lay awake hour after hour and amuse myself by watching the digital clock numbers tremble then slide and click into place.

1010
1111
1212
111
222...

222 was always the last one I would see before I drifted off to sleep.

My mother would wake me up at 6am and be fanatically worried that I had some terrible blood disease because I was exhausted after a supposed 10 hour sleep :)

It would never do to tell her I lay awake all night. That would get me a clout across my head for failing in my sleep duty.

I do find it humorous that after all these years I am no longer a night owl. Now the latest I see the clock is 11:11 and then I'm off to drool land.

Happy 1-11-11, Peeps :) Do something special today.

I command thee! ;)

Let's take this journey together...

2011-01-10T07:33:00.001-08:00

We've made it through the first week of 2011.

How's everyone's New Years lists coming?

Given up yet?

Crossed anything off yet?

I've crossed of a couple of major things off my list this week.

I still have huge ones to accomplish yet.

*sigh*

I paused last night to capture this sunset pic to remind and mark this day...the first week of January 2011.

It's done, Peeps.

51 more to go.

What will we accomplish. What will we all have seen over the next 51 weeks?

Sweet Baby Boy of Mine

2011-01-09T09:12:00.000-08:00

On the Saturday nights I have my son, it is a ritual of ours for me to leave a note for him on the kitchen table and to go upstairs (before leaving early for work on Sunday morning) to kiss and hug him goodbye--as he goes to his Dad's on Sunday before I come home from work.

I lumbered upstairs at 5 this morning to hug and kiss my sleepy boy goodbye.

There in the soft glow of the animal lamp beside his bed he lay sleeping. He was curled up with his arms wrapped around his battered stuffed cat, Butterscotch...and for a moment I saw the little boy that has all but disappeared inside a rapidly growing teenage body.

I felt my breath hitch. I was running behind on heading out to work but I stayed for an extra moment and just breathed in the sight of him.

I slunk quickly downstairs and grabbed Chanda then crept back upstairs and captured the moment with a quick flash of Chanda's eye.

He stirred and I quickly hid Chanda behind my back. He is in the stage of hating having his picture taken--but my Mom's job is to capture his childhood.

This is the last week of his 12th year of life. He turns 13 in a week. An official teenager.

He stresses me out. He gives me grey hair. He makes me spew Mother phrases at him that I swore I would never use...

But. Dear God. I love this boy. With every cell in my being.

Slaving over the New Years List...

2011-01-07T17:41:00.000-08:00

One of my things I put on my New years list was to move my photos off of my laptop and secure them onto external hard drives.

2 days later I am finally done with that chore!!

Over 50 THOUSAND photos...gah!!

389GB of space used.

How do I even start sifting through all those photos and organize them??

*flops on the floor exhausted*

Day 4 of the New Year

2011-01-04T09:14:00.001-08:00

How's the New Years resolutions going? Scratched any off yet??

I made an ambitious list this year and have found that as the days pass I have not scratched anything off it, only added to it!

God help me...

I have determined that this year I am not going to sleep walk my way through it. I'm going to embrace each and every day that blooms into life.

I predict an exhausted Kat by 2012 ;)

Evening Sunset Via iPhone :)

2011-01-03T10:05:00.001-08:00

More HERE: http://akatseyeview.blogspot.com

A really nice ending to my day :)

Happy New Year!

2011-01-02T10:20:00.000-08:00

And the Sun rose on the 2nd day of the year 2011 spearing shards of light into the sleepy workers eyeballs as she stood warming her bowl of grits in the break room of work.

Happy New Year, Peeps!

We were so exhausted from our Christmas that Lord V, MW and I chose to ring in the New Year at home with just our little family. No company. No running to and fro...just...relaxing.

It was really nice :)

How was your New Years Celebration?

Portland Zoo Lights

2010-12-23T10:28:00.000-08:00

My little niece is visiting from Minnesota for Christmas week.

MW is very excited as he adores his cousin. They've been racing around the house playing hide and seek, pausing only to play frantic games of Mario on their Ds, then off they race, running around again!

It's been wonderful having another girl in the house :) She's been dressing poor GabbyAbby in all the silly dresses I have collected along the way, hugging her close as if she is a living doll.

Gabby politely purrs while shooting me pleading looks, longing for escape.

Last night we took the kids to the Portland Zoo Christmas lights. You can see pics of it Here: http://akatseyeview.blogspot.com

Today I'm taking MW and the Niece over to my hair dressers place to get their hair done. MW is being a great sport and has agreed to get his hair done along with his cousin because he knows she is excited about it.

It's not even Christmas yet, Peeps--but this has been one of the best Christmas's ever. :)

Merry Christmas, Peeps!!

2010-12-20T16:24:00.000-08:00

May your Christmas be filled with family, love and warmth.

They feasted...and it was Good!

2010-11-27T09:01:00.000-08:00

My chosen feast?

Cheese and garlic bisquit with honey butter
Wild mushroom stuffing
Garlic mashed potatoes
Chilled prawns with spicy cocktail sauce
Dungeoness crab legs
Clam fourentine
Salted sturgeon
Chilled Salmon
Yams
Pumpkin pie and chocolate pecan pie

I did feast. And it...was...GOOD!

Thanksgiving Menu

2010-11-23T12:39:00.000-08:00

This year I am not cooking Thanksgiving meal. This year Lord V, MW and I are going to Salty's Restaurant, across the Columbia River from us. The menu? Is THIS.

Menu:

Carved Turkey with Chanterelle Mushroom Gravy

Corn Bread Stuffing

Wild Mushroom Stuffing

Apple Bourbon-Glazed Ham

Rosemary & Garlic-Crusted Prime Rib with Creamy Horseradish

Salty’s Famous Seafood Chowder

Chilled Dungeness Crab Legs

Poached Peel & Eat Prawns

Smoked Gouda & Bay Shrimp Macaroni & Cheese

Blackened Salmon with Sweet Thai Chili

Salt-Crusted Smoked Coho Salmon & Pancetta Sage Tartar

Salmon Canapé with Lemon Dill Chèvre, Red Onions & Capers

Chilled Snow Crab

Salt-Crusted Sturgeon with Fried Caper Lemon Aïoli

Warm German Potato Salad

Caesar Salad with House-Made Croutons

Fresh Vegetable Platter with Ranch Dipping Sauce

Creamy Oven-Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes

Pancetta Bourbon-Roasted Butternut Squash with Sage Butter

Honey-Glazed Yams

Seasonal Fruit Platter

Artisan Cheese Tray

Cranberry Sauce

Pumpkin Soup

Fresh House-Baked Breads

Assorted Cookies

Pecan Pie

Apple Pie

Pumpkin Pie

Bring. It. ON!!!

Thar Be Snow in Dem Dar Hills!

2010-11-22T08:08:00.000-08:00

Bah humbug.

I'm so not ready for snow :(

Mega-Mindness on a Rainy Saturday Afternoon

2010-11-20T17:07:00.000-08:00

MW and I spent this blustery, rainy afternoon holed up in Cinetopia theater watching MegaMind 3D.

Not a bad way to while away a couple of hours...not terrific...but not bad.

I confess, I really wanted to see the new Harry Potter flick but bought Megamind tickets online thinking Harry Potter would be sold out.

Wrong. There wasn't even a line!

Seems the Potter magic has fizzled.

Ah well. It lasted longer then I thought it would.

Right now our home is filled with the smells of chicken casserole bubbling in the oven. I sliced up a quick cucumber and red onion salad, tossed it with white vinegar, splenda and cracked black pepper and slid it in the fridge to marinate.

Hungry anyone? :)

Foggy Saturday

2010-11-13T16:51:00.000-08:00

The house is quiet. Outside our windows fog presses close, thick as cotton candy spun on an earth tone cone.

MW is at his Dads house now. Gabby Abby lays sleeping on my legs. Her tiny body radiates comforting heat like a hot water bottle placed lovingly between sheets on a chilly winters night.

I can feel Christmas lurking. It is now that time.

The seed starts small. The one that whispers inside you to begin feathering the nest to settle into winter and all she brings.

A sudden yearning to dig out the crock pot and fill the home with the scent of simmering soup and freshly baked breads.

I am done mourning Summers end and have begun to revel in the coziness of Winter.

In the Shadows of Autism

2010-11-12T20:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight is a difficult night.

I purchased some board games for MW and I to sit down and play together with.

Easy ones. From ages 5-8.

MW is almost 13, but is just now beginning to enjoy the challenge of playing a game against another person.

I wandered the aisles of the store carefully choosing games that would not frustrate him.

Monopoly JR. Guess Who. and Trouble with R2D2 inside the bubble because he loves/loved Star Wars.

He chose Guess Who.

We sat down to play but there was some assembly required...meaning every plastic piece had to be put together and then the little face cards slide into the plastic things.

Much struggling but we got it all done and it was time to flip the pieces up so we could start.

He flipped a few up but others fell down. Out of frustration, he picked the board game up and shook it to make the plastic pieces all stand up at once...

but that made all the face cards slide out.

*sigh*

By the time hot chocolate was made, cookies set out and all the &%$# plastic pieces were standing...an hour had passed.

We made it through half the game and MW was struggling not to cry.

I pushed him to finish. I didn't want him to quit.

We made it but during the last part of play we talked about Christmas time and he asked if I was going to put out the Christmas box this year.

Ah yes. The Christmas box. A beautiful advent Christmas box that has little individual drawers you can put tiny presents in for him to open each day.

Except he's getting too old for the tiny box gifts and he fixates on wanting only the one thing he is fixated on.

This Christmas? It's Mario.

Everything Mario.

It's all he talks about. All he draws about. All he plays with.

He is consumed with Mario.

I explained how we were going to do something different this Christmas. A different Advent box. I had purchased an advent calendar that had Lego pieces inside each day where you could build a Lego character and by Christmas time there would be an entire Lego village.

"But I'll get Mario things, right?" MW asked starting to twist his hands in anxiety.

"No. Not this time. Not before Christmas."

"But WHY?!" He wailed, his man/boy voice cracking.

"Because, Honey, you fixate on things and only want that one thing. You want nothing to do with anything I or anyone else gives to you that isn't the thing you are fixating on."

"That's not TRUE!" He yells.

"Yes it is, Honey. You put them back in the bag it came in and don't touch them again."

"I can't help it!" He covers his face and struggles not to cry. "I hate that you think I don't like them!"

"I hate that I fixate!" He cries, slamming his hands down.

My heart is hurting but I cannot let him see. I calmly push him through this. "The advent calendar will be fun. You'll see. And it is my way of helping you not to fixate."

I went and brought it to him to show him.

He glanced at it and ran crying and screaming up to his room.

This, People--is the shadow land of Autism. The place where we push and stretch and struggle with our kids to get them to embrace pieces of life they resist.

It is a place of tears, sweat, anguish and incredible, unending, unconditional love.

I have a Mom's faith that with his tears a new fertile land will grow.

He will grow.

And he will thrive.

The tears hurt though. They seep inside my skin and jab at my Momma heart.

But I will be strong. Because he is worth everything.

Yes. Yes I DID go there!

2010-11-08T16:28:00.001-08:00

I was mall shopping with MW the other day when we hit one of our favorite places: HOT TOPIC.

What did my Hello Kitty lovin' eyes spy?

What new Hello Kitty treasure did I pounce upon you ask?

WITNESS THE ~~HORROR~~ GREATNESS!!

And yes. Yes I did buy it.

BOOYAH!

A~Yup!

2010-11-07T07:16:00.000-08:00

Well it turns out I don't have laryngitis but need to have throat surgery again.

With the miracle of in office laser surgery I've held it off going into full surgery for 2 years so I guess I cannot complain (too much).

Still annoying, though.

On other news:

I joined a gym in September and have been faithfully working out. I took advantage of hiring a trainer when I first joined as it's half the original training cost when you first join.

Best. Decision. Ever.

Twice a week she runs me through a gambit of exercises while she keeps an eagle eye on my form as I'm sweating my way through the routines. I have learned so much from her. It's not just added motivation to work harder while someone is watching you--it's doing the exercises correctly so your muscles get the most benefit.

Working out with her makes the time go by quickly. Sometimes I think, "Did I do enough to make a difference? Did I get a good enough work out?" My answer is in the wobble in my legs as I make my way back to my car and the aches and pains the next day from the millions of muscles she made come alive.

It's also in the inches I've lost since joining.

Best investment ever, Peeps.

An investment in my health, worth every sweaty penny.

Voiceless in Portland

2010-11-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

I have been stricken with a terrible case of laryngitis that has lasted 2 weeks now.

Anyone who knows me knows how terrible this affliction is for me as I am forced into silence!! :(

*sulk*

How long can this last??!

Back from Vegas

2010-10-31T09:16:00.000-07:00

I have been gone this past week, spending time in Vegas with friends and Lord V.

We had lots of fun hanging with friends and seeing the huge decorated Hotels! Saw a couple of shows which was a treat.

Bought Souvenirs for friends and MiniWarrior back home and

WALKED and WALKED and WALKED and...WALKED!!

Everything is HUGE in Vegas. Food, buildings, SOUND! OMG at the unstoppable, endless SOUNDS that bash at you from all sides!

Even laying by the pool was loud as they blared the music loud enough to make it almost impossible to read a pool side magazine!

I love my friends and love seeing new places but I must say--been there, done that--to Vegas and scratch it off my places to revisit.

Glass Walls and Islands

2010-10-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I blinked and 2 months have slipped past since I last logged on here.
I blame Facebook. It's like crack.

Lord V mentioned this weekend that I hadn't updated my blogs in so long and wondered if I had given up on them. I assured him I hadn't--but I thought I'd send that assurance out to blogland so you all will have your answer too :)

So much has happened during this off time yet so much remains the same.

MiniWarrior Update:

I have to think of another name for my lanky half man who towers over me and speaks in a crackling man voice.

Last night Lord V remoted our new Apple TV box to his computer and displayed images of MiniWarrior from toddler years on. *sigh* My heart still aches from those images.

Where has my little boy gone?

Time spins so quickly. It's like an unstoppable tidal wave that crashes over me no matter the walls I erect to stop it's on coming rush.

My little boy will be 13 in a couple of months. 13. When did this happen?!

13 and yet, I still see glimpses of my little boy.

He is still in to Star Wars but right now his obsession is Mario and Luigi. He carries them everywhere. He prattles to them in an Italian accent then cracks himself up, giggling in his crackly half man voice.

He still loves hugs and kisses from me but now avoids the little Mom touches that I can't seem to stop doling out. The little leg pat, the tiny stroke of my hand on his hair. He flinches from them and gives me a long suffering, "Mommmmmmmm stop!" in response.

I won't stop though. I can't stop. I only have him for a precious short time before I lose him completely to manhood.

It is all so conflicting. I adore him. He is the very air I breathe and yet, he makes me nuts. He prattles on endlessly with question after question after question until my brain feels like it's stuck inside a vice and is going to explode from the pressure.

I can't wait to see him on Wednesdays when he comes to stay with us from his Dad's house--and within 15 minutes I'm grinding my teeth pleading in my mind for him to go upstairs to his room and give my poor brain a rest.

He is never. EVER. Quiet.

He talks non stop. And if he isn't talking he is making sound effects. He is never at rest. He paces, he flaps, he shifts, he runs, he...makes me nuts.

God help me. I adore him.

I've been watching the show Parenthood that has a boy that plays an Autistic kid. Some of the script is over the top on how the boy Max plays being Autistic--but some of the writing is so dead on that it makes my breath catch and my heart squeeze.

The last episode had the Mom of Max going to an Autism support group. A lady in the group opened the discussion talking about how she cried at McDonald's.

She spoke of spending all day with her son and how much she adored him but how exhausting it was to be with him all day.

How she has to be on guard in every situation. She has to be hyper aware of every influence, sound--light--environment, that might affect her son. How she watched every flinch, every facial movement of her son so that she could anticipate if he had too much stimulation or if something was adversely affecting him where he might spin out of control from over stimulation.

She talked of the incredible pressure that weighed on her all the time from this vigilance. How it made her feel like she was on an island alone in a world crowded with people.

I felt my breath catch.

I remember that feeling. Deep, dark and oh so intimately.

Until you deal with an Autistic in your life on a day to day, hour to hour basis--you really cannot understand the pressure. The loneliness. The isolation you feel just trying to keep your head above the emotional waters while trying to raise your child. The exhaustion. The guilt. The incredible love you are consumed with for this sweet complicated child.

People say they understand--but when the child is cranky or moody or whiny or demanding you see the flash in their eyes that says, "This child isn't special needs, they are just spoiled." That is the ultimate pressure. You feel like you should stop and explain to each and every person what it means for your child to be Autistic and how they aren't spoiled or bad or...they are wonderful, brave, sweet, complicated human beings who have to battle for everything us "normal" people take for granted.

I am no longer on an Island alone, though. My Island is filled with wonderful people who truly understand our MiniWarrior. They embrace him, love him and genuinely admire him then turn to me and tell me what an incredible Mother I am.

I look at them surrounding me on our Island and I shake my head. They don't understand. I am just a normal Mother. It is everyone else who is helping to raise our MiniWarrior that has made him who he is today.

For those who have followed my MiniWarrior stories and remember how I used to take him to the Mall to stretch his ability to handle environmental stimulation (after a Child Psychologist told me he would never be able to handle more then 20 minutes a day outside our home)...

I have a victory to share.

This weekend I met with my girlfriends to get our toe nails polished before our Vegas trip. I took MiniWarrior along and let him cruise the Mall while we had our girl fest.

He has never done this alone before and had only been to this particular mall a couple times before. But I had absolute faith he would do well.

He was anxious but after noting where our nail place was in the Mall, he headed out to explore.

He had his wallet. (stuck in his front pocket so he wouldn't lose it)
He had his phone. (so he could call me if he got lost or anxious)

He roamed the Mall then popped back because he had tried to call me but his phone didn't work. He didn't stress, just found his way back to me to let me know he had tried to call.

I figured he had hit a dead cell zone in the mall and explained that to him then told him I wanted him to go eat something. He nodded and headed out again.

He found the food court and purchased two burgers. Lost two dollars in a vending soda machine but did not get angry. Instead--he walked over to an Asian food cart and ordered a water.

He came back juggling his water bottle and told me about the vending machine taking his two dollars. No stress, just matter of fact--then headed out to search for more Mario items as our toes were not quite finished yet.

I was so very VERY proud.

Later on the drive home he said, "I was a little nervous to walk in the Mall by myself, Mom--but I had a blast! We should do that again!"

"I'm proud of you, Son. I knew you would have fun."

"Yeah. A guy told me I had a great smile." He added out of the blue.

I felt my Mom heart stutter a tiny bit...

"He did? Was he someone who worked at the Mall?"

"Oh yes. I had gone to his shop to ask him where the stairs were because I couldn't find out how to get to the bottom of the Mall. I told him I was tired of looking for the stairs and was going to be like superman and jump over the rail..."

"The guy laughed and told me where the escalators were then said I had a great smile."

Ah. Yes. That's my boy. My brave, charming, sweet, funny man child who not only conquered the halls of the Mall but completely shattered the Psychologists glass wall prediction.

Booya, Baby.

Booya.

Labor Day Goodness

2010-09-07T07:54:00.001-07:00

MiniWarrior and I went RV camping this weekend with some friends of ours in Warm Springs, Oregon.

So. So. Beautiful!

In the camp store I read a flyer that said, "We get 300 days of sunshine".

To us rain soaked Washingtonians--that's our version of Heaven!!

Saturday our friends rented a pontoon boat and we cruised the lake. All around us were towering layered rock cliffs dotted with dark green pine trees and light green sage brush.

I lay back on the pontoon bench and watched bald eagles swoop from the cliffs and soar above me. It was like being in another world.

At night we sat around the campfire pit telling stories underneath the canopy of stars.

I'm not a real lover of camping--but it was hard not to be seduced into the camping world when immersed in such beauty.

I must admit, it was really nice to come home to space and carpet and hot showers and Lord V who stayed behind to watch the animals.

I missed him and the warm and loving life we have created in our home :)

A Visitor

2010-08-06T11:45:00.001-07:00

More pics at http://akatseyeview.blogspot.com

YAY!!!!

Oh, SNAP!

2010-08-02T06:50:00.000-07:00

I walked up to the array of work elevators this morning and a man beat me to the UP button.

"Good job!" I said, giving him the thumbs up and a cheeky grin.

"I read your mind!" He said with an answering grin.

"Not hard to do on a Monday morning" I said with a sigh and pointed to my head. "There's not much up there yet!"

"That's not what they say on the bathroom wall!" The man quipped back.

I burst out laughing.

"Damn that Mr Clean and his magic eraser, that was supposed to be gone!"

He belly laughed as I stepped out onto my floor.

I made a pistol with my hand and aimed it at him.

"That was a good one!" I said, firing my finger trigger. "Pow, you got me!"

I could hear him laugh as the doors closed and the elevator whisked him away.

What then is this fleeting thing we call life?

2010-08-01T08:06:00.000-07:00

What then is this fleeting thing we call life?
We laugh. We cry. We fight. We sigh. We wish. We dream.
So many tumultuous emotions-so many.
For what?
What is the point of all of this? We are such fragile sacks of skin.
Time moves so swiftly, blurring everything around me.
I try and embrace each precious moment. In quiet times when surrounded by my little family, when I am most content-I close my eyes and breathe in the moment. I freeze the memory of the moment in my mind. A photograph I pull out in emptier times and stroke a finger along and smile a rueful smile for I know. I know time is fleeting.
Nothing lasts forever-or even for a lengthy time. It is here, and then it is not.
What is the point of all of this? Is there anything more? If there is not-then why the struggle? What is the reason for this bastardly struggle we call life?
I am now of the age where people are picked off, one by one. They are here and then they are not.
I miss them. I feel their loss deep inside me like a hollowed out crater.
I understand religion and the deep need to believe there is something more than this short existence and then--? But I cannot find escape in its hallowed walls. It is not the haven of peace for me.
I’m trying to wrap my mind around this fleeting thing called life and am fully, deeply, exhaustively aware that as I struggle to comprehend—time is continually moving forward, running over everything in its path.
I feel …powerless.
And yet, each morning I rise, dress, pack my work bag, close the door to my home tucking my little family away—and drive into the day.
Another checkmark on my timecard. I am here. I am present. I am…
I am wishing I could magically gather all whom I love and have loved and surround myself with them. I want to hold them close and freeze time. To stop the bullet train of time.
I cannot.
Sigh.
I cannot. So I will continue onward against the tide of time and do this thing called life.

Time Keeps on Slippin'...

2010-07-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

Time moves so swiftly at times I feel I blink and a month has passed.

It's all so subjective.

When all things are wonderful we wish to freeze time to keep it from moving.

When things are bad, we wish for it to grow wings and fly...fly like the wind.

Nothing we wish for stops the endless time drip.

Nothing.

Embrace what you have now before the next blink.

Daily Snort & Other News...

2010-07-20T14:31:00.001-07:00

Other News:

Tomorrow is my birthday. Ughiddy Ugh Ugh.

I be old I tells you. Old.

but my life? *sigh* My life be wonderful :)

A Day on the Water

2010-07-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

Lord V and I spent the day on our boat.

Gabby~Abby wanted to go and was quite disgruntled when I removed her from the travel cart :)

We zoomed down the Columbia River towards Portland and turned into a quiet area that was lined with quaint house boats.

We dropped anchor and lay on our boat like docked seals sipping chill beer and reading our books in the warm summer sunshine.

A very. Very. Enjoyable day.

Sunshine Goodness!!

2010-07-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I have spent 3 glorious sunny days in my back yard, sprawled on a chaise lounge chair, sipping ice tea and peering over the pages of a trashy romance book at the boats zipping by on the river.

*deep sigh*

Gawd. I love Summer!

Savannah's Forgiveness

2010-07-09T16:33:00.001-07:00

Savannah *my truck* has forgiven me.

Fortunately the cost of her tantrum was not monetary as her broken electronic fuel pump was still covered under warranty! It even covered the tow :)

sa-weet!

So now? Now I'm careful to avert my eyes when a Mini Cooper slides into my view. I talk sweetly to Savannah and curl my lip into a (hopefully) believable sneer so she won't get jealous and leave me stuck on the side of the road in a tizzy.

good truck.*stroke stroke stroke* goooood truck.

No Baby Bunny...

2010-07-07T21:53:00.001-07:00

The baby bunny was gone this morning. I'm hoping it went back to hang with its Mom in a cozy little briar den.

So I have news. My truck. My lovely sweet truck which I have named Savannah--you know I had to name it--is in the truck hospital.

On my way home from work yesterday, on the last leg of my homeward bound journey, on the ramp...she just...quit.

I stared at Savannah in disbelief.

But. You are only 4 years old! You are too young to die! I admonished her giving her a frustrated smack on her steering wheel.

I talked sternly to her and then turned the key. She sputtered then quit.

*blink*

key turn. Sputter. Quit.

*sigh*

I called Lord V and he came and rescued me, pushing Savannah up the rest of the way of the ramp and then it was all down hill to our house.

A bit hairy drive as my steering was stiff and my brakes were bricks but I made it by nursing my emergency brake and putting some oomph into the steering wheel.

This afternoon I left work early and called up tow truck driver who came and hoisted Savannah onto the back of his truck.

"You know" I said to the tow truck man, "I know why my truck quit".

"Yeah? Fuel pump issue?"

"Nope" I reached over and patted Savannah, "my truck is mad at me".

He gave me the hunted look of a man facing a crazy woman with no weapon in sight.

"It's um...mad?"

"Yep. You see" I said stroking Savannah's hood, "I've been squealing over the cuteness of Mini Coopers lately, tossing the idea around in my head about getting one when my truck gets old. Made my truck jealous. Hurt her feelings, I did."

I shook my head remorsefully. "I'm sorry, girl" I whispered.

"Well, let's see if she'll start up for me." Tow Truck Driver said, climbing into Savannah's driver seat.

Key turn...sputter. Quit.

"Nope. Trucks still mad at you!" He said with a grin and strapped a pull chain on the front of Savannah and began reeling her in. "I thought maybe 'cuz you apologized and talked nicely to her she might forgive you and start up again!"

We shook our heads in co-misery as we watched Savannah being pulled onto the truck bed.

"Just between you and me" Tow Truck Driver whispered leaning close to me, "You don't wanna Mini Cooper. I tow a lot of them."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah. Stick with your truck." He said with a wink, patting the front wheel of Savannah and climbing into his truck.

*sigh* So, I'm guessing sometime tomorrow I'm going to find out how much Savannah's temper tantrum is gonna cost me.

*tsk* Trucks. They are so temperamental!

Tiny Visitor.MOV

2010-07-07T09:44:00.000-07:00

Tiny Evening Visitor

2010-07-07T08:38:00.000-07:00

There was a tiny baby bunny outside our front door last night. It sat huddled on the drive, hunched in a tiny ball. There was no sign of its Momma.

I brought it some lettuce leaves and it ran towards me and hid underneath my legs. It was scared and I think because I brought it food it thought of me as its safe haven.

I sat for the longest time filming it with my iphone. It romped around the grass and drive, darting back and forth from the lettuce back to the grass.

I grew tired and climbed back to my feet to go back in the house. It immediately stopped its play and ran after me. It came and stood on my foot--its tiny feet soft and cold on my sandled foot and let me gently stroke it.

I did not want to take it inside as I didn't know if its mother was out hunting for food and would be coming back for her baby. I tried not to think of its mother being dead and the baby being orphaned. I do not know how to care for a tiny bunny. After work today I shall see if it is still in front of our house and then decide what needs to be done after that.

babybunny.MOV

2010-07-07T08:36:00.000-07:00

A Baby bunny was outside our front door last night.

Minnesota Adventures

2010-07-06T11:47:00.000-07:00

Our Minnesota vacation with my brother and his family was wonderful.

MiniWarrior and I had a terrific time :) only now he wants to move to Minnesota so he can be close to his cousins!

Uh yeah...not gonna happen.

I tried to explain to him how Minnesota is mostly a snow place. He didn't care. I'd take him back at Christmas time...and let him experience the temperatures that are so cold they freeze the hairs in ones lungs...but I don't ever wanna go back to that so he's gonna just have to take Mom's word on it.

*Z snaps*

(not so mini) Warrior got to drive my brothers boat:

and MiniWarrior caught his first fish! See?

Fish investigating my underwater camera before being snagged by MiniWarriors hook:

The hotel idea was a good one--although MiniWarrior didn't seem to need any de-stress time. We kidnapped my niece who is 3 months younger than MiniWarrior and dragged her back to stay with us in our hotel. Actually--I think she kidnapped us as she and MiniWarrior were inseparable during the entire week!

I really enjoyed my time with family and my one on one time with MiniWarrior. He is growing up so quickly and all too soon will be a man with a family of his own.

*sigh*

Summer Vacation Has Begun!

2010-06-16T15:42:00.001-07:00

MiniWarrior has completed 6th grade--with honors!

We attended an award ceremony for select kids and we were beaming proud when MiniWarrior was called up for an award in Language/Literature :)

This is a huge triumph for him as, if you understand Autism, one of the major deficits Autistics have is in language interpretation.

Did I mention how proud I am of him? :)

Tuesday, he and I are flying to Minnesota to visit my brother and his family. MiniWarrior is very excited to be flying again and to see his favorite cousins. This too is a triumph. Up until this past year it was not possible to take him on an extended vacation (away from his home comforts) without a great deal of stress.

I am still taking precautions in that I am renting a car and staying in a hotel with him so that if he should become overwhelmed and need complete defrag-from-people time we can leave immediately and head back to the quiet of the hotel room.

*sigh* Our MiniWarrior is growing up, Peeps. And as he is now officially an inch taller than me now--not so "mini" anymore.

MiniWarrior and his favorite cat, Harry.

UGH!

2010-06-15T15:12:00.000-07:00

Will this rain EVER end?!!

We have had 2 sunny days in an entire month, Peeps.

2.

I fear not even my Northwest webbed feet will save me from drowning!

Gabby Abby

2010-06-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

cuz I know you've missed her ;)

FROGNABIT!

2010-06-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

Before this Saturday, we have had rain 19 days in a row.

Saturday the Sun (finally) came out!

My little family and I spent as much time as we possibly could outside, drinking in the liquid sunshine.

I spent most of the day cleaning the fountain in our backyard terrace--which involved scooping a Winters worth of leaves and 3 billion tadpoles out of the green water.

I used a pool net to scoop the crud out of the water and emptied the net into a wheelbarrow.

MiniWarrior spied the billions of tadpoles in the wheelbarrow and rushed over to fill it with water so the tadpoles would not die.

Mommmmm you are suffocating them!

...

So yeah. Now? Now I have a clean fountain and a wheelbarrow full of a billion tadpoles resting by the side of the house...

The plague of Egypt will someday soon rain upon our heads...

Girls Night Out: Two Claws UP!

2010-06-06T09:22:00.001-07:00

I met up with my favorite girlfriends Friday night for a girls night out.

We ate at California Pizza (I had a black bean, grilled chicken, spring roll appetizer for dinner...mm!!)

Then went and saw the new "Sex and the City 2" movie. From all I had read about the movie I wasn't expecting it to be good. Actually, I went into the movie expecting it to be horrible and was just looking forward to being with my girls.

Surprise, I loved it!

It is a total chick movie. I don't believe any man would "get" it. It was way over the top with ridiculous outfits and scenes...but the underbelly was real and raw and 100% who we are as women.

When a woman loves, she throws herself fully into that love. Be it the love of one's children, career, self, a man...a woman. We envelop ourselves in that love, living and breathing it as it brings us such joy.

But, in that envelopment sometimes we get lost. The very essence of who we are as an individual gets shoved into the broom closet of our lives. Most times we don't miss it. We are so busy we don't stop to know we miss it. But every once in awhile, in the naked space of a moment we feel the loss. A curious empty space that makes us pause and puzzle as to what it is we are missing.

This, the internal struggle of a woman, is what the "Sex and the City 2" movie captured so well. And I'll tell you. Sitting in the dark theater, squished in the middle of my girlfriends, belly laughing with them...I felt a vital piece of myself that I had forgotten come back.

I love my life. My family. My home. I am surrounded by love. But you know, sometimes? Sometimes it is that moment when you are laughing with your chicks and just being a "girl" that is... indescribably wonderful. Nothing compares to it.

Rose Festival Pics...

2010-05-31T13:58:00.001-07:00

I headed to my hotel after work yesterday, dropped off my bag, strapped Chanda in her backpack along with extra lenses and headed back out to the Rose Festival.

I've put up some of the images I captured on my AKatseyeview site.

Grab a drink and come on over!

Chanda Meets Portland Rose Festival

2010-05-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

The journey begins!

Mobile City

I shall return this evening, with Chanda in tow.

ACK!

2010-05-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

I changed my template and all the links to other peoples blogs I read disappeared! :(

Please post your blog link in a comment so I can add you again!!

Please. Please. Please.

Rose Festival, Portland Oregon

2010-05-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

I work in Downtown Portland right next to the Waterfront--where every festival that Portland puts on, is located.

Great scenery but it also makes for very clogged roads.

Add to this mix--Memorial Weekend and Glen Jackson bridge repair work that has backed up traffic for hours on a normal weekend...I will be staying at a hotel in downtown instead of enduring a grueling drive home.

I'm going to plunk my work stuff in my hotel room after work and then take Chanda into the hordes of people and Rose Festival activities.

Another Chanda opportunity!

You can see some pre-Rose Festival glimpses on my Mobile City blog:

http://iphone-city.blogspot.com/

Trickle Trickle...

2010-05-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry for delay. I have so many pictures I took on my trip. It's been labor to leaf through them and decide which ones to post and which ones will remain in the secrets of my PC :)

Akatseyeview

Spent an extended weekend in New Orleans and Vicksburg Mississippi

2010-05-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

So much to tell. So many pictures to post.

I shall start trickling them into my akatseyeview photo site over the next couple of days.

Wild storms, cancelled flights, monsoon rains made for interesting times!

I laughed through it all.

This is life, Peeps.

An exciting roller coaster ride!

Bring it :)

Many thanks to Aafrica for her tourist tips!! It was great hearing your voice after reading your blog for so long :)

15 Days and Still No EWO...

2010-04-27T16:23:00.001-07:00

It's been 15 days, Peeps...and I've still not seen EWO.

Strong with the Force I be.

Don't Worry, I'm Yours (Jason Mraz vs. Bobby McFerrin vs. Israel Kamak...

2010-04-26T09:22:00.000-07:00