Last Post of 2007

Can you freakin' believe it, Peeps?

It's already the last day of 2007.

Remember when we grew up thinking that 2007 would be the time where we drove flying cars and had robotic maids?

We've been lied to, my Peeps.

Our Elders spoketh falsehoods to us.

*sniffle*

This is almost as bad as when we found out there was no Santa Claus!

Whattttt...you knew that, right?!

Tsk.

Kids.

Seriously now, Folks. Fill your glasses and let's toast to the upcoming New Year of 2008...may it be as fantabulous as you all are.

*clinks my glass to yours*

CHEERS!!

Happy Kat...Happy Kat...Happy Kat!

I'm writing this post on my new iPhone!

Sweet Mother of Pearl, Peeps...this thing rocks!!

Merry Christmas Eve!

HO HO HO

I took MiniWarrior to see Santa tonight.

We parked by my work downtown and took the Max Train up to the City Mall.



MiniWarrior told Santa:

"I hope I don't get coal in my stocking this year"

Santa HO HO HO'd and told him, "No. No coal, this year."

(I'd been using the threat of "Santas got his eyeball on you and will give you coal if you're bad. hehehe)

MiniWarrior was greatly relieved.

He informed Santa his wish this year was for "Hermit Crabs".

(I had talked him out of a turtle and frog as they are too much work to care for)

Santa told him he would see if he could catch one at the North Pole and bring it to him.

(this after a sly look at me and a nod of approval from me--good Santa. There will be an extra cookie laid out for you, Fatboy. The good kind. Not the left over stale ones that no one else wants to eat, either.)

We plan on putting a Hermit Crab habitat complete with a pair of crabs--under the tree Christmas morning.

He's going to flip out with excitement!



Good times. Good times!

p.s. Notice the green thing in MiniWarriors hand? That's a rubber Preying Mantis. ha ha ha.

A Christmas Gift...

I filmed a little bit of the Christmas ships on the water for all you blog peeps to enjoy.

MiniWarrior is in the background making his war noises and complaining at me for shh'ing him so you could hear the Christmas music the ships were blaring out. :)

Enjoy!

Christmas Ships On Columbia River

To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

Kat sleep remedy:

A shot of tequila (to numb the google brain)
Hello Kitty PJ's and a pink blanket (cuz I have pink needs)
A cushy bed (fer my achin bones)
Lord V reading to me in a soft Southern accent (cuz it was a book about the South and he's fantabulous)
A furry dog and cat snuggling close (purrrr purrrr)

*Sigh*

Zzzzz'Less

I have been unable to sleep these past two nights.
The most Zzz's I've managed to catch have been sporadic kat naps that are filled with busy and strange dreams.

For those who suffer from chronic insomnia--I'm feeling your pain.

It's a very weird feeling to feel so exhausted that I just want to close my eyes...but when I do my brain clicks into google mode and starts downloading information that spins in an exhausting loop.

I think I've caught a Holiday virus. I need to delete the HO HO HO Trojan so I can defrag before my hard drive burns out.

Tis The Season...

For Christmas Ships!

We bundled up and headed out to the waters edge to view the parade of Christmas ships.

I was waving and whooping at the ships as they passed by when I heard my name being called from behind.

I turned and there were our friends and their kids, having come to enjoy the festival!

We stood like goons and waved and cheered as each ship paraded past us, then hustled off to our home to mugs of hot cocoa (for the kids) and snifters of Scotch (for the men) and Tequila (for us women).

I snapped a few pictures so you blog Peeps could enjoy the evening with us.

Grab a mug, glass or snifter and enjoy!

Come On In, The Coffee's On

I realized this morning that it's been awhile since I've sat down and had a chat with you all.

*sets out plates and coffee cups and doles out slices of coffee cake*

So, how's everyone been?

Got all your Christmas shopping done, yet?

I've finished except for the odds and ends that I'll snap up along the way to fill in the extra spaces in Christmas stockings.

It's crazy out there, Peeps. People rushing to and fro. Driving like maniacs, not thinking cuz their heads are filled with Holiday plans.

I know this to be true as the other day I stopped for gas in Oregon.

Oregon has a law that you can't pump your own gas (this law was created after a man in the 70's poured gasoline on himself at a gas station and set himself on fire).

So, I was sitting waiting for my tank to be filled. My guy had gone into the store to pay for it. I saw him walk back and give something to the gas station attendant then said "thanks" and the attendant walked away. My guy climbed into my truck, I spoke with him for a minute, then turned on my engine and proceeded to drive away.

Someone honked their car horn. I looked to see if I had accidentally cut someone off but no...so I continued to move forward.

People started yelling and waving their hands at me. I turned and looked at my guy all puzzled like, he shrugged in response...the gas station attendant zoomed over and rapped on my driver window.

Apparently, he was still pumping gas in my truck!

ACK!

Yeah.

So. I had to backup and sit there like an idiot while men shot me "dumb blond" looks followed by the patronizing shake of their heads.

Hmmph.

My guy was having a lot of fun teasing me over my embarrassment until I shot back with his getting an embarrassing speeding ticket over Thanksgiving weekend with his parents in the car...lame I know--but a girls gotta use what ammo she has at hand. Which he then countered with a listing of my speeding tickets I've acquired since he's known me.

I countered with, "Yeah but I never got one with my parents in the car"...which he then topped with "Yeah but I've never been put in Time Out by a Cop"...

Hmmph. Yeah, well he got me there.

Dangit.

More coffee, anyone?

Gabi Wilson on the Today Show

Did I not mention she's amazing?!

Gabi Wilson on Maury's Most Talented Kids!

This little 10 year old girl is freakin' amazing, Peeps. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.

All Your Pawns Are Belong To Us

Field Trip!

We are going to the Portland Zoo Lights tomorrow evening (if the weather smiles at us).

Throw your hands in the air and say it with me now, Peeps....

"FIELD TRIP!!"

Zoo Lights at the Oregon Zoo

Wild Christmas Beast, Captured!

I have achieved the (near) impossible.

I have captured the wild Christmas beast in his lair.

The Great Belly Of The Beast


Steely Slitted Eyes Peer From Inside The Lair



Guido-the-cat Is Not Amused At The Intrusion Of His Lair


He Sets Off To Investigate The Intruder


"Who Dareth To Intrudeth Uponeth My Laireth?"


"Ah. Tis You, The Bringereth Of My Food Clumpage. Thou Shalt Liveth."

Nest Steal~age!

I gathered my favorite pillows, fluffed them and arranged them on my sofa nest in preparation of flopping down and indulging in a feast of reading.

I went to get my book, came back, and found...

A Nest Thief!

Contrary Guido~ness

I'm trying to capture of a picture of Guido-the-cat laying in his lair...but he's obviously wise to the plan and has evaded me so far.

He did however, manage to scare the heck outta me this morning!

I was in the bathroom floofing my hair when he (apparently) threw himself full Guido-belly onto the door and sent it crashing open.

He swished in with a royal saunter while I clutched my hairbrush to my wildly thumping heart.

Dang cat.

budwieser horse fart

This video had me laughing so hard I squirted tears, Peeps. TEARS!!

The Lair of Guido Goodness

Guido-the-cat is happy.

His colorful lair is back.

He resides beneath the Christmas tree in full cat belly glory.

The occasional flicker of the tip of his tail wafts beneath a low hanging branch.

A paw peeks out in a content cat stretch then retreats into the Christmas lair.

I shall attempt to capture a snapshot of the wild christmas beast residing in his lair and post it at a later date.

La La La La...Da Da Da Daaaaa

Lookie what I did last night.





I'm so ready for Christmas.

Bring it, Peeps.

Bring it!

Puuuuuuuuurrrrr Goodness!

I have come across some Wicky Goodness, Peeps.

Wicky. Goodness.

Click HERE and turn your sound up!

Tis The Season For Road Blockage

Holy Crapola.

Last night, on the way home from work, what was normally a 20 minute drive took 1 1/2hours!

This, Folks, does not pleaseth the Kat.

Then, this morning, I'm tooling along to work when the radio people announce another wreck that has shut down the exit I'm supposed to take. More delays.

I crawled into work 30 minutes late.

Grr.

I'm just glad it's my freakin' Friday!

Monday *Snort*

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in
the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he
ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to
get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following
headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the
donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy
back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

Happy Post Thanksgiving, Peeps :)

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

MiniWarrior pinned many a naive ear down and yakked it off with his endless Mantis fact prattle.

Molly-the-Mantis has gone to the great Habitat in the sky...
so has Dorie-the-fish.

We are off to see if any bugs still live outside so MiniWarrior's habitat will have another captive.

It's been lightly frosting at night. I don't think we will achieve much luck on captive gathering.

Wish us luck :)

Guido-the-cat sleeping off Thanksgiving coma:

Happy Thanksgiving, Folks!

Twiddle Dee Rhyme Its Almost Turkey Time

My time solving this puzzle: 6:48


What's yours?

I Got Skills, Peeps. S.K.I.L.L.S

I've discovered a skill.

Apparently I'm a Bum magnet.

Mmm hmm.

This morning, after much nagging from Lord V. I decided to be brave and take the Max train to work instead of the express bus.

I slunk into a single chair that faced sideways (so I wouldn't have to share a seat with strangers) and cracked open my (Janet Evanovich: Twelve Sharp)book.

I was 3 pages deep into Stephanie Plum's arrest of the 72 year old porn shop owner, chuckling over the old bat nailing Rangers man Tank in the "family jewels"...when a large smelly shadow loomed over me then shifted and plunked into the seat adjacent to mine.

"How you doin'" the smelly shadow slicked out to me in his best Joey-from-Friends pick up voice.

I rolled an eyeball over the top of my book and nodded in his general direction then skittered my eyeball back to the center of my book.

"Yer sure lookin' pretty this mornin'"

I clenched my book tighter and hunkered down lower in my chair.

"Shy, huh?" He said with a raspy chuckle.

I lowered my book and speared him with my best pah~leese look.

He grinned at me treating me to a display of mangled yellow teeth coated with a years worth of plaque and pilfered cigarette butt nicotine.

I slunk back behind my book shield and hid there for the next 20 agonizing minutes while the hunk of burning bum love attempted to burn through it with his red rimmed laser beam eyeballs.

Uh huh.

*shows you the hand*

Step back with your jealous rays beaming my way, I can't help my Bum Magnetism.

*tosses my hair with a haughty flip*

Don't be hating on me, Peeps cuz I got skills.

Sweet sweet skills.

Happy Sunday!

How's your weekend/s going?

Mine is officially over and I'm back at work.

*sweat sweat toil toil*

I have been sitting here whilst sipping my coffee (ssssssslurp--ahhh) and pondering how fast this month seems to be moving.

Is anyone else shocked that (American) Thanksgiving is this week and Friday is the "official" start of the Holiday Season?

WTH?

Where did the time go?

It seems I blinked and November *poofed* away.

On other news:

MiniWarrior has a new pet.

A Blue Beta fish that he's named Dorie.

Beats the hell outta head noshing bugs, doesn't it?

Speaking of "head noshing bugs"...Molly-the-Mantis still lives.

Her cage is littered with the headless bodies of her grasshopper slaves.

I tossed a few apple slices into the cage for the remaining doomed creatures.

They fell upon the treats with suicidal abandon.


"Nibble, nibble, gnaw,
Who is nibbling at my little head?"

"The Mantis, the Mantis,
The head noshing, Mantis."

"Oh, you dear grasshoppers, who has brought you here? Do come in, and stay with me. No harm shall happen to you."

Early in the morning before the grasshoppers were awake, Molly-the-Mantis was already up, and when she saw them sleeping and looking so pretty, with their plump buggy eyes, she muttered to herself, "That will be a dainty mouthful!"

Mmm Hmm. I'm living in a freakin' fairy tale, Peeps.

A freakin' Fairy Tale.

Nevahmind: &$#! Blogger...

False alarm, Peeps.

I tried to go private but people were getting too many errors.

Thanks to you Peeps who responded.


BOOYAH!

Going Private

Sorry for the inconvenience, Folks.

I'm making my blog private.

If you wish to continue to visit me, please drop me an email at katscratchings@yahoo.com and I will add you.

The Path of Grief

My little family was reminded this weekend of how quickly life can change.

The niche's of our home are filled the silence of grieving. The house feels heavy with the weight of it.

I find myself wishing I was magical. I wish I had an all powerful wand I could wave and make things OK again. But I'm not...and I don't...and it's a terrible helpless feeling to watch the one you love, grieve.

I've been down this road before; the one my loved one now steps upon. It shakes you down to your core. Every step is labor. I can't walk it for him no matter how I wish I could. I can only take his hand and walk along side him and give him the comfort and strength of quiet company.

Life. When going through bad times it seems endless. The harsh reality is that it's but a blink in time.

We plan. We plot. We dream. And swiftly time passes unnoticed until the wall of grief rises up and knocks us on our ass reminding us that we must add one more ingredient to our lives.

Action.

To plan to plot to dream is fruitless without action.

I am guilty of this. I live most my life in a dream state.

I will resolve to change that.

But for right now, I'm busy. Walking the path with the one I love; holding his hand tightly in mine.

I won't let go.

We'll make it through.

I promise.

Sunday *Snort* & Weekend Mantis Update

Click here to watch "Achmed" (this video cracked me up!!)


Weekend news:

MiniWarrior caught 3 billion (20) grasshoppers and shoved them into his habitat with Molly-the-Mantis and her 6 remaining cricket slaves.

When I dropped MiniWarrior off at his Dad's early this morning, Molly was huddled beneath the limb of the plastic habitat tree trying desperately to blend. As I kissed MiniWarrior goodbye she rolled a frantic Mantis eyeball my way and scratched out "save meeeeeee" with her claw.

Hehehehe.

Guess What Mah Punks?

It's mah Fridayyyyyyy.



Woop! Woop! *chuka chuka* Woop! Woop!

Tiddly Biddly Diddly Bit

16 days til Turkey time.

Pumpkin Pie Apple Pie Pecan Pie Sweet Potato Pie Mashed Potatoes Stuffing Gravy Ham Yams Green Bean Casserole Cranberries rolls ...

Are

You

Readayyyy?

This:



Plus This



Plus This



Equals---




Let the good times rolllllllll.

Folks, We Have...MANTIS!

Unfricken believable.

I thought all bugs were gone for the season so I "amused" MiniWarrior by taking him out to the field at I-HOP to frolick in the grass.

He thought he was going bug hunting.

I thought he was getting plain ol' exercise and fresh air.

Guess who was right?

Hmm???

Yeah.

Introducing: "Molly-the-Mantis and friends...aka...mantis lunch"



Guido-the-Cat meets Molly-the-Mantis



MiniWarrior checks out his latest prisoners

Ghosts, Goblins and Raisins, Oh My!

After a successful neighborhood candy raid we piled in my truck and headed for home.

"So, what kind of loot did you get?" I asked MiniWarrior.

"Hmm..."

rustle...rustle of loot being shuffled around in pumpkin basket

"There's a KitKat!" He happily called out.

"Score!"

"And a Hershey bar...and some suckers...and a recess..."

"Sweet!"

"You want it, Mom?"

"Yes!"

"You can't take his candy!" Lord V muttered beside me.

"The heck I can't. Everyone knows Moms get a percentage of the loot." I said while reaching behind me for the peanut butter cup clamped in MiniWarriors out thrust hand.

I chomped a bite out of the peanut butter cup and grinned a chocolate toothy grin at Lord V.

"Tsk." He said shaking his head in disapproval.

"Wanna bite?" I waggled the bitten cup towards him.

"Well...yeah." He said leaning in to take healthy nibble outta it.

"Ha!"

"Want another one, Mom?" MiniWarrior offered from his backseat lair.

"No, Hun. That's your candy. You keep it. Thank you!"

"See?" I said shooting a smug look at Lord V. "I can be mature."

"Pfft." He grunted in response.

"Wow I got some Hot Tamales and another KitKat and a Butterfinger and...what? Raisins! Ugh! That's just wrong! They're supposed to give me candy!" MiniWarrior exclaimed, unamused at the abhorrent sight of the healthy treat.

Lord V and I laughed and high 5'd each other.

After all. Halloween isn't truly Halloween til some do gooder tries to slide an apple past your candy guard in the name of their nutrition religion.

Ghoulish good times, Folks. Ghoulish good times.

Trick or Treat!

*Shakes my Hello Kitty basket at you*

Gimmeeee Gimeeee treats!!



Happy Halloween, Folks!

A Moment of Silence, Please

MiniWarriors Dad called me at work today.

Jessica-the-Mantis has passed.

A moment of blog silence, please while we honor Jessica.

Grisly cricket and grasshopper head consumer.

Freaky foamy egg sack layer.

She was a good bug for she madeth the MiniWarrior smileth.

May she rest in peace.

...thank god.

Halloween Goodness!

2 days til Halloween, Folks.

TWO DAYS!

I love this Holiday.

Where else can you dress up in a zany outfits and pound on strangers doors--begging for free candy--without fear of a restraining order?

Hmm?

I ask you!

BRING IT!

Mantis Update: Jessica

Jessica still lives.

I spied on her yesterday as she hovered over her foamy egg sack all protective like.

I had been thinking of scraping it out of the habitat...

Now I feel torn.

She's guarding her little demon babies.

Argh!

What's a Kat to do?

As Promised: A Fall-tastic Road Trip

We took off at Noon, shaking the city dust off our feet and zooming towards the country.

I took the Old Scenic Hwy that snakes upwards through the tree lined Columbia Gorge.

The trees were in full Fall display. My coworker whooped out loud and flung her hands in the air, thoroughly enjoying the splendor.

I grinned so much my cheeks hurt.

We ended our day with a trip to Red Lobster and stuffed ourselves full on shrimp and Salmon steaks.

Good times, Folks. Absolutely good times.

Enjoy:

Vista House View Point: The wind was blowing so hard I was almost blown over.



Coworker hamming it up


Looking out from atop Viewpoint


Stairway to Falls


Multnomah Falls






A Peek of the Columbia River