Mikeys Rememberance Today...

Mikeys funeral is today.

My little family will attend with me along with many coworkers.

I shall endeavor to remember to smile, for Mikey would have hated it if we were sad.

I hate funerals.

I hate that people wait until someone is gone before they speak of how much they cared for them.

I have lost family members and know that each day could be the last you see of someone.

I have tried to embrace that knowledge when I deal with those I care for.

I am often met with puzzled looks when I tell someone how wonderful I think they are.

How they do "this" or "that" particularly well and how much I appreciate it.

Puzzlement laced with suspicion. Surely I must have some motive for exalting them.

Something I want from them.

Nothing so dark. Nothing but the knowledge that one minute we are here and then...not.

I spent my last day of work last week wandering the hallways and cubicles with the memorial card for Mikey.

Each person told me stories. Memories they had of Mikey.

We laughed. We sighed. We paused and shared sad silence together.

Each person said how much they would miss him. What a great person he was. What a large heart he had...

Every person.

It took me from 7am until 4pm to meet with people...and it was only a percentage of the people who knew Mikey and loved him.

I kept thinking how much Mikey would have loved this. How he would have loved hearing every ones memories of him.

There were dark times at our job where he had despaired, thinking no one liked him.

How I wish he could see how very wrong he was.

He was loved, tremendously.

He will be missed, grievously.