15 Days and Still No EWO...

It's been 15 days, Peeps...and I've still not seen EWO.

Strong with the Force I be.

Don't Worry, I'm Yours (Jason Mraz vs. Bobby McFerrin vs. Israel Kamak...

I am Proud...

I know this is going to sound terrible.

But I don't care.

I no longer care.

And that, People...is a major break through for me.

I did not pick up EWO at the airport.

I did not call her the night she arrived.

I did not call her the next day either.

My phone finally rang in the evening.

EWO was hesitant and talking like she was stepping on egg shells with me.

She did not know how to handle me. How to manipulate me.

I had changed the rules.

She gently pried...laying out traps in which to snare me into taking her into my home. Into feeling obligated and guilty so that I would drive her around and entertain her while she was in my city.

Slow drips of poison that I saw coming and stepped away from.

She will be here 3 weeks.

I will not see her until the 3rd week and only then so I can give her friend a break.

I have broken the hold.

I have begun walking the path that will remove her from my life.

She's had 44 years of me.

Its time to say enough.

Its That Time Again...

EWO is arriving in my State, my City, my Neighborhood, my Space...tonight.

She is staying (for now) at her friends house.

She did not call me.

She did not write me.

Her friend called to warn me last week.

And her Mexico friend called me (multiple times) to give me jobs to do once EWO arrives.

When will I no longer feel obligated to host this person who filled my childhood with shattered shards of memory that roll around and leave my insides bleeding?

Every day of my life with MiniWarrior and Lord V is filled with kindness and love. Gentleness and laughter.

I've become spoiled, wrapped in their love for me.

And every day it shows me what I missed when I was a small helpless prisoner in her house.

Every day it shows me what could have been. Should have been.

And I struggle not to let the empty space she created inside me fill with hatred.

I push it down by wrapping my arms around my precious son and kissing the freckles that dust his cheeks.

I shove the bitter tide back when I lean against the strong wall of my Lord V and hear the sturdy beat of his heart.

I'm trying.

Trying not to let her neglect and abuse of me win.

But sometimes?

Sometimes I feel broken and wonder if I'll ever repair.

Puerto Rico: Pigeon "poop" Park

So many many pictures to weed through of our Cruise trip.

I'm slowly putting them up.

Today's tour?

Pigeon "poop" Park.

Wanna see?

Go here :) akatseyeview