Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Disheartened...

March 30th I am retiring from 17 years at my job.

My boss told me, while we were walking to coffee this morning, that he was sorry.

"Sorry? For what?"

"I tried to get some kind of award for you, some kind of recognition for the 17 years of service you've given to the company...everyone refused me. I told them that they make a big deal whenever a government employee retires--and that you had given them excellent service for 17 years and deserve some kind of recognition...but they refused."

Sigh.

I am the only surviving member of the 7 different contract companies that I've gone through while working for the government. Everyone else has been laid off or fired.

I really didn't expect anything from the bosses--but to hear that they were asked and then flat out refused?

I am...disheartened.

For all the extra hours I worked. For all the times I was cool in crisis and handled emergencies for them. For multiple letters of praise I have received from Majors and Chiefs down to the smallest working person...For the extra hours I spent off hours planning and purchasing things for Christmas parties for them...ugh...I can't and do not even wish to list all I have done.

I am more then disheartened, I'm hurt.

Ever feel like 17 years of hard work was for...nothing? When I think of all the stress, all the worry, all the times I came in sick because I didn't want to let my job down. The exhaustion of raising a special needs child, not even taking a day off for "maternity" leave because it would leave my coworkers short handed...Working nights, staying up during the day to raise my child...going back to work on 2 hours sleep and still acquiring praise for my level of work...UGH...

I've got to just let it go. Just...

Let it go.

sigh

5 comments:

Peaceful said...

I am hoping he did this to surprise you later...but they will have a party I'm sure, right? They better!!

Haphazardkat said...

Jadey--no, I got the feeling he told me because he didn't want me to be hurt when the actual day came.
He is setting up work friends I've had over the years to all go to lunch together on my last day :) It's ok. I'm over my sad/disappointment today. LV is hosting a huge party with my non work friends later that night--MW will be with his Dad so I plan to let loose a lil :) and enjoy my first night of FREEDOM!

Mei Lian said...

You worked as you did because it is who you are. After it is finished whose opinion do you value most? Yours or theirs?

If it helps... I am proud to know you.

Laoch of Chicago said...

I think their lack of appreciation shows that your decision to leave was a sound one. No doubt there are great things ahead for you. It is best to direct your efforts to a place which will value you in an appropriate fashion.

Carpe diem

Haphazardkat said...

Mei Lian--Thank you. You are very wise and sweet :)

Laochie--Definetly Carpe Diem...deep fried and smothered in tartar sauce ;)