March 30th I am retiring from 17 years at my job.
My boss told me, while we were walking to coffee this morning, that he was sorry.
"Sorry? For what?"
"I tried to get some kind of award for you, some kind of recognition for the 17 years of service you've given to the company...everyone refused me. I told them that they make a big deal whenever a government employee retires--and that you had given them excellent service for 17 years and deserve some kind of recognition...but they refused."
I am the only surviving member of the 7 different contract companies that I've gone through while working for the government. Everyone else has been laid off or fired.
I really didn't expect anything from the bosses--but to hear that they were asked and then flat out refused?
For all the extra hours I worked. For all the times I was cool in crisis and handled emergencies for them. For multiple letters of praise I have received from Majors and Chiefs down to the smallest working person...For the extra hours I spent off hours planning and purchasing things for Christmas parties for them...ugh...I can't and do not even wish to list all I have done.
I am more then disheartened, I'm hurt.
Ever feel like 17 years of hard work was for...nothing? When I think of all the stress, all the worry, all the times I came in sick because I didn't want to let my job down. The exhaustion of raising a special needs child, not even taking a day off for "maternity" leave because it would leave my coworkers short handed...Working nights, staying up during the day to raise my child...going back to work on 2 hours sleep and still acquiring praise for my level of work...UGH...
I've got to just let it go. Just...
Let it go.
7 years ago