Children's Museum

Today I am taking MiniWarrior to the Children's Museum.

Many people speak of how wonderful it is. He's hopping with excitement :)

Wednesday I took him to the Houston Zoo. I'll download some of our pics and try and post one later today.

My favorite? The baby Orangutan who kept harassing his Mother!

I wonder why that was my favorite? hehehe :D

Tomorrow (early) MiniWarrior and I head back to Lord V and our home in Washington.

I. Can't. Wait.

Homicidal Kat

MiniWarrior showing EWO a wind up Praying Mantis toy he got at a 5 and 10 store today:

"Look, "EWO" isn't it cool?"

"Pft. It's a shame how many toys you have. I tell all my friends that you have way too many toys."

MiniWarrior looked at me puzzled.

"He's fine, EWO. Leave the boy alone." I said.

"No no. He has way too many toys. It's terrible."

"You know what that means when a child has lots of toys? It means they are loved." I said smiling reassuringly at MiniWarrior.

"Well. My kids never had so many toys and I had 4 kids."

"Yes. I know." I said looking her in the eye. "I was one of them."

"I was a good Mom, because you learned to work instead of being spoiled with toys." She said jerking her head in a self righteous nod.

I hugged MiniWarrior and whispered in his ear to ignore EWO. That she didn't understand kindness.

"I know, Mom" He whispered back. "She's a mean person and doesn't know how to be nice."

He is growing up and learning to see people for who they are instead of through the veil of innocence that layer a childs eyes.

I am proud and I am sad.

And I resolve to buy him another toy the next opportunity I can.

Another EWO Gem...

Wait wait...I almost forgot to post this gem of EWO's today.

We were waiting with a group of people for the shuttle that would take us to the Medical Center this morning.

EWO complimented a woman's hair (wait for it...wait for it) then when the womans husband who had chemo patches of hair on his head said, "What about mine?" EWO snorted and said, "No, not yours, you're bald!"

oh wait...it gets better...

While the woman softly stroked her husbands back and reassured him that she loved his hair...EWO stood beside me and said:

"You know, my friend in Mexico read on the computer that men--like that guy--pointing to the man she had just insulted...who have belly's that hang over their belts have no sex drive what-so-ever because they're so fat."

As we were standing right by the poor guy he could not help but hear her. The group shot her a stunned look and I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from them.

"Mom. That guy obviously has cancer." I whispered scoldingly to her.

"Oh dear. That poor poor man." She said.

Then proceeded to talk about friends of hers who had died horrible deaths from cancer through the entire shuttle ride to the Medical Center.

How she's lived to reach 83? Is a complete mystery to me.

EWO Update

After an entire day in the doctors office we have discovered that there will be no surgery for EWO.

The organ they refer to as her "heart" is in pretty good shape for her 83 years. They are going to pump her full of meds and do further stress tests on her next Tuesday, before releasing her to slither back to her Mexico lair.

She is fretting because she doesn't want to pay for another hotel room once MiniWarrior and I leave on Saturday. She can afford it, she just considers it a waste of money...

Here is a gem from a conversation she had with the nurse before we left the doctors office today:

"My friend in Mexico said that when she had tests here she didn't want to stay in a hotel so they gave her a key to a storage room and let her sleep there. Isn't that perfect? Could I have that room?"

The nurse blinked at her and said, "I don't have a key to a closet for you to stay in."

As she walked away to finalize a follow up appointment for EWO, EWO whispered, "I thought she'd offer for me to stay with her...but she hasn't said anything to me."

Ah the crazy twisted mind that is EWO.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I sat for a month on a mountain top and pondered the craziest thing I could think of.

And trust me. I can think up some crazy shizzle.

As always...

Good times.

Goooooooood times.

Deep Breathing Exercises

I'm laying on the hotel bed breathing deep trying to rid myself of the urge to tie EWO's wrinkles in a Mafia necktie.

The sound of her praying in tongues (undecipherable language to non demon ears)...snakes up the stairway to my loft hideaway.

Miniwarrior escaped to the outdoor stairway. His fortress of solitude.

Over breakfast this morning she reached a claw over and gripped Miniwarriors arm.

"Don't let him get any heavier", she hissed.

"Stop". I warned.

"No. He needs to watch his..."

"Stop it. Right now.". I snarled.

For I know if she is not immediately checked she will spew hurtful poison.

"Oh I know what I'm saying". she hissed. "I've raised kids."

"Yes, I know how you've raised kids". I said looking straight into her eyes."

"Don't talk to me like that". she sulked.

"Then back off of my kid". I said-unfased by her pout. "I won't tell you again"

She slunk back into her wrinkled shell and pouted.

MiniWarrior looked at me with wide eyes. He didn't understand why Mom sounded mad.

EWO slithered off to get some more breakfast and I explained how sometimes "grandma" says rude things just because she can.

"Why?" He asked. His beautiful innocent eyes blinking over at me.

"I think because no one ever tells her not to be" I said. "But I will because you are my son and I won't allow her to be rude to you."

MiniWarrior smiled at me. "That's because you're a nice Mom and you won't learn to be rude like grandma."

"No, son, I won't. I'm your guard dog and I'll snarl at anyone who gets near my puppy."

He giggled and toasted me with his juice cup. "Woof woof!"

"Woof Woof!" I said and clicked my coffee cup against his.

Houston...We've Arrived!

MiniWarrior was so excited to be on an airplane. It made me feel a little bad for having waited so long to take him on one.

The nice lady who's seat assignment was by the window, changed places with Miniwarrior so he could stare out the window. She was very sweet and I found out she works in the same building as I do!! LOL. Small world.

I had filled two carry ons with games and coloring pens and paper, MiniWarriors movie player, iPod...etc hoping to keep MiniWarrior occupied on our 6 hours of flight time.

He colored on two sheets of paper and watched a third of a movie. The rest of the time he sat with his nose pressed against the plane window exclaiming how beautiful everything was from way up high!

"Oh wow, Mom. I feel so small!"

"Look at those clouds, don't they look like mashed potatoes?"

"Where's my camera? I GOT to take a picture of this!" (he's so my boy...hehehe)

Everything went great...until we got to the airport. EWO was supposed to meet us at our baggage terminal--which of course she never showed up at.

I expected this, which is why I hired a driver instead of relying on a cab.

Thank goodness I did. Her terminal ended up a 10 minute freeway drive from ours.

The driver pulled over, I hopped out and found her casually pushing her luggage around the terminal humming to herself like she had no cares in the world.

No...omg I'm so sorry, I didn't reaize there wouldn't be a way to get to your baggage terminal...I was so worried we wouldnt meet up!"

Just, "oh, I knew you'd come."

Nice that she has so much faith in me.

grind grind grind

*sigh*

She was very happy to see MiniWarrior and I though, and both he and she are ensconsed in their hotel beds snoozing while I am write this blog rant.

Do ya sense its going to be a long week, Peeps?

Yeah.

good times...

good times.

Momentary Stress

I called up the Airline to ask them what documentation I needed for MiniWarrior to fly with me (as he has no photo ID).

While on the phone with the agent, I asked her if she could tell us what seats we had as Orbitz function of allowing me to choose a seat wasn't working when I purchased them online.

"I'm sorry Ma'am. We don't have two seats left that are together."

"Um. No. I am traveling with my son. I need to be sitting by him."

"I'm sorry. There are no more seats together."

"No. No no no. You don't understand. My son is Autistic, has never flown before and needs to be beside me or he will flip out!"

"One moment while I put you on hold."

I sat on hold long enough for me to grind through my first layer of tooth enamel, feeling my heart pound inside my chest while pictures of passengers lunging frantically for the exits--mid air--after being a captive audience for 4 hours of MiniWarriors diatriba on Mantis and frog growth specifications--spun around my head like a bad 70's 8 track tape.

The lady came back onto the phone and had not only found us two seats together, but had placed us right behind First Class in the handicap seats for all 4 of the planes we would be traveling to and from Houston.

Thank you, US Airways! That was an awesome move on your part :)

One step closer to EWO time, Peeps.

Good times.

good times...

Hell Is Freezing Over

It has happened, my Peeps.

I have found something Hello Kitty I do not wish to be on my Christmas list.

Behold!



Ghetto Kitty!

ugh.

Eminent EWO Visit

The tickets are purchased. The hotel reservations made.

MiniWarrior and I will be headed out to Houston to be with EWO during her doctor/hospital visit on the 16th of this month.

With the help of her friend in Mexico (who is wonderful and has made all the doctor arrangements), I found a hotel close by the medical facility that has two bedrooms.

It's a small thing...but a huge relief of stress off of me to think there will be a room with walls that MiniWarrior and I can escape to should the urge to wring EWO's neck come upon me.

MiniWarrior is excited to be going on an airplane. This will be his first air trip. With his autism it was not possible to even think of confining him in a public transportation vehicle that we could not quickly remove ourselves from should he begin to stress out.

He has grown so much this past year and has gained such control over his autism that I now forget (at times) that he has this disability.

I cannot describe enough the pride I have watching him grow and develop into a wonderful man.