Saturday, January 15, 2011

Shh! Don't Wake The Man Child!

It's Saturday, my morning to sleep in, but my eyelids sprung open at 6:49am exposing my eyeballs to a brand new day.
I toyed with the idea of forcing my eyelids to recover my eyeballs but it was too late. My eyeballs told my brain, "HEY! A new day!" and my brain sent my hips, knees, elbows and spine out on the highway of "Get the hell up!"

...so I did.

And here I am, sleepy, creaky and un-caffeinated, hiding upstairs in my Hello Kitty office because there is a soon-to-be-13 man child that has a blood hound nose for freshly perking coffee and...god help me...

once awakened the beast will begin his daily regiment of "let's break Mom with 3 billion facts and questions squished into the time the coffee finishes perking".

Which pretty much goes like this:

Hey Mom?

grunt

Which do you like best. Mario or Luigi?

grunt

I think I like Mario better because he's shorter and plumper than Luigi and has a bigger mustache.

grunt

Do you think Mario is plumper than Luigi?

grunt

Hey. That's-a not-a nice-a! I'm-a not-a fat-a!

Yes-a you-a are-a!

I spit fireballs at you!

PLOINK PLOINK PLOINK

Ahhhhh!

Thats-a what-a you-a get-a for-a calling me-a fat-a!

Momma-mia Mario is-a spitting fireballs at me-a!

grunt

Hey Mom?

grunt

Who do you think eats more mushrooms. Mario or Luigi?

grunt

I think Mario because he's fatter.

Do you think Mario is fatter than Luigi?

grunt

Hey-a!

Well-a you are-a!

How-a rude-a!

I'm-a not-a rude-a!

yes-a you-a are-a!

No-a I'm-a not-a!

Mom! Do you think Luigi is rude?

grunt

Hey Mom?

...

Hey Mom?

...

Hey Mom?

...

Hey Mom?


grunt


Do you like Mario in red overalls or blue overalls?

...

God. Help. Me.

6 comments:

Peaceful said...

haha, I think it's worse for women who haven't had kids of their own because we dont have the ability to shut out anything they say- I would get exhausted answering everything! :)

Aafrica said...

when we first got our cats my son named them mario and luigi. then we took them to the vets and mario turned out was a girl. so she became daisy, luigi's girlfriend. hehe ... in retrospect we should've named luigi mario 'cuz he is the plump one. then daisy would've been peach.

Haphazardkat said...

Jadey: he can break the strongest will...:)I keep saying the CIA should tap into his interrogation skills!!!

Aafrica: I shall save this information for my man child...he will be most excited and will then drown me with further questions. I shall give him your email address so he can direct them to you instead of me! hehehe

terri said...

I love this sooooo much. :)

Haphazardkat said...

Terri: He is adorable--when he's sleeping :D

Peaceful said...

had to comment just to tell you the captcha is "claws" haha