I was given a project to work on when I was in High School so many, many years ago.
I was to create a scrapbook of what I wished for in my future.
I can't remember what I put in my scrapbook. I can only remember my disgust at the responses of the majority of the girls in my class.
They filled their books with ring sizes, house sizes, X amount of children, location of home and what colors their weddings would be.
I remember thinking "That's it? That's all you want?"
Now that I'm older I hear the same sort of talk from my peers.
They seem content with the idea of working til retirement, having a couple of grand kids and then fading off into nonexistence when they are in their 90's.
Again I find myself saying, "That's it? That's all you want?"
And...again...my scrapbook is blank.
I don't have any ideas of what it is I want...I just know...I want more.
I feel guilty uttering those words.
Guilty for there are many who do not have the wonderful things I have been given.
Guilty for having good health when there are those dear to me who are fighting for their very lives.
And yet, something still cries inside me.
I don't want to be content with working til I retire, having a grand kid and then fading away when I'm old.
I want to leave something of myself behind.
I want to mark this earth with an image created by my hand that says
Kat was here
Is that wrong?
7 years ago