Monday, November 30, 2009

I Think I shall (yet) Live...

Two days of confinement have passed and I do not yet strain at my tethers.

A true sign of being very ill, to be sure.

Thank you all for your well wishes.

I do, indeed, feel much better although still very fragile.

I've learned I cannot walk and talk at the same time.

Well I say "walk" when I really mean the thing I do when shuffling my slipper clad feet across the floor from my bedroom to the bathroom and on to the sofa.

I do believe the week I spent with EWO took something vital out of me and this is my minds way of making myself lay quietly and repair the marks she lay open inside of me.

I cannot continue to do this.

I made a vow that I will not ever attend to her again for that amount of time without having a safe haven to retreat to.

In my home I can turn my face into Lord V's and my friends embraces to hide, and revitalize and re-engergize.

I am no longer the "tough" person I had to be to survive growing up.

Being surrounded by loving friends both in blogland, my clan of friends close by me and my Lord V and our sweet little family--I have gentled and can no longer fling up the iron barriers against the ugliness that was my past.

Tis a good thing. A wonderous thing.

And something that I must teach myself to keep around me at all times instead of trying to face things alone.

And I thank you. All. For this amazing gift.

6 comments:

Laoch of Chicago said...

Peace and good wishes to you.

Cindy said...

(((Hugs)))
I spent the weekend in embrace of true friends and it did my heart good.

Peaceful said...

I awoke this morning worrying about you.
Truly I have found that very few people understand the pain of being a daughter abused by their mother.
As you rest, imagine the little girl from long ago, go and visit her and give her a tight hug and tell her she is a good girl.
And that you love her.

thecreature66 said...

LOL...........you just learned that you can't walk and talk at the same time........smiles. I'm glad your feeling better and that your mending mentally also. You know we love ya!!!
Hugs ya tight and hope Lord V is not getting too abused by a sick kitty.
BD

Aafrica said...

how is our Kat holding up?

Peaceful said...

shit you're still not here :(
pleeeeease get better...
today hurt like hell....
thank you for my blankie.