La La La La...Da Da Da Daaaaa

Lookie what I did last night.





I'm so ready for Christmas.

Bring it, Peeps.

Bring it!

Puuuuuuuuurrrrr Goodness!

I have come across some Wicky Goodness, Peeps.

Wicky. Goodness.

Click HERE and turn your sound up!

Tis The Season For Road Blockage

Holy Crapola.

Last night, on the way home from work, what was normally a 20 minute drive took 1 1/2hours!

This, Folks, does not pleaseth the Kat.

Then, this morning, I'm tooling along to work when the radio people announce another wreck that has shut down the exit I'm supposed to take. More delays.

I crawled into work 30 minutes late.

Grr.

I'm just glad it's my freakin' Friday!

Monday *Snort*

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in
the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he
ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to
get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following
headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the
donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy
back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

Happy Post Thanksgiving, Peeps :)

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

MiniWarrior pinned many a naive ear down and yakked it off with his endless Mantis fact prattle.

Molly-the-Mantis has gone to the great Habitat in the sky...
so has Dorie-the-fish.

We are off to see if any bugs still live outside so MiniWarrior's habitat will have another captive.

It's been lightly frosting at night. I don't think we will achieve much luck on captive gathering.

Wish us luck :)

Guido-the-cat sleeping off Thanksgiving coma:

Happy Thanksgiving, Folks!

Twiddle Dee Rhyme Its Almost Turkey Time

My time solving this puzzle: 6:48


What's yours?

I Got Skills, Peeps. S.K.I.L.L.S

I've discovered a skill.

Apparently I'm a Bum magnet.

Mmm hmm.

This morning, after much nagging from Lord V. I decided to be brave and take the Max train to work instead of the express bus.

I slunk into a single chair that faced sideways (so I wouldn't have to share a seat with strangers) and cracked open my (Janet Evanovich: Twelve Sharp)book.

I was 3 pages deep into Stephanie Plum's arrest of the 72 year old porn shop owner, chuckling over the old bat nailing Rangers man Tank in the "family jewels"...when a large smelly shadow loomed over me then shifted and plunked into the seat adjacent to mine.

"How you doin'" the smelly shadow slicked out to me in his best Joey-from-Friends pick up voice.

I rolled an eyeball over the top of my book and nodded in his general direction then skittered my eyeball back to the center of my book.

"Yer sure lookin' pretty this mornin'"

I clenched my book tighter and hunkered down lower in my chair.

"Shy, huh?" He said with a raspy chuckle.

I lowered my book and speared him with my best pah~leese look.

He grinned at me treating me to a display of mangled yellow teeth coated with a years worth of plaque and pilfered cigarette butt nicotine.

I slunk back behind my book shield and hid there for the next 20 agonizing minutes while the hunk of burning bum love attempted to burn through it with his red rimmed laser beam eyeballs.

Uh huh.

*shows you the hand*

Step back with your jealous rays beaming my way, I can't help my Bum Magnetism.

*tosses my hair with a haughty flip*

Don't be hating on me, Peeps cuz I got skills.

Sweet sweet skills.

Happy Sunday!

How's your weekend/s going?

Mine is officially over and I'm back at work.

*sweat sweat toil toil*

I have been sitting here whilst sipping my coffee (ssssssslurp--ahhh) and pondering how fast this month seems to be moving.

Is anyone else shocked that (American) Thanksgiving is this week and Friday is the "official" start of the Holiday Season?

WTH?

Where did the time go?

It seems I blinked and November *poofed* away.

On other news:

MiniWarrior has a new pet.

A Blue Beta fish that he's named Dorie.

Beats the hell outta head noshing bugs, doesn't it?

Speaking of "head noshing bugs"...Molly-the-Mantis still lives.

Her cage is littered with the headless bodies of her grasshopper slaves.

I tossed a few apple slices into the cage for the remaining doomed creatures.

They fell upon the treats with suicidal abandon.


"Nibble, nibble, gnaw,
Who is nibbling at my little head?"

"The Mantis, the Mantis,
The head noshing, Mantis."

"Oh, you dear grasshoppers, who has brought you here? Do come in, and stay with me. No harm shall happen to you."

Early in the morning before the grasshoppers were awake, Molly-the-Mantis was already up, and when she saw them sleeping and looking so pretty, with their plump buggy eyes, she muttered to herself, "That will be a dainty mouthful!"

Mmm Hmm. I'm living in a freakin' fairy tale, Peeps.

A freakin' Fairy Tale.

Nevahmind: &$#! Blogger...

False alarm, Peeps.

I tried to go private but people were getting too many errors.

Thanks to you Peeps who responded.


BOOYAH!

Going Private

Sorry for the inconvenience, Folks.

I'm making my blog private.

If you wish to continue to visit me, please drop me an email at katscratchings@yahoo.com and I will add you.

The Path of Grief

My little family was reminded this weekend of how quickly life can change.

The niche's of our home are filled the silence of grieving. The house feels heavy with the weight of it.

I find myself wishing I was magical. I wish I had an all powerful wand I could wave and make things OK again. But I'm not...and I don't...and it's a terrible helpless feeling to watch the one you love, grieve.

I've been down this road before; the one my loved one now steps upon. It shakes you down to your core. Every step is labor. I can't walk it for him no matter how I wish I could. I can only take his hand and walk along side him and give him the comfort and strength of quiet company.

Life. When going through bad times it seems endless. The harsh reality is that it's but a blink in time.

We plan. We plot. We dream. And swiftly time passes unnoticed until the wall of grief rises up and knocks us on our ass reminding us that we must add one more ingredient to our lives.

Action.

To plan to plot to dream is fruitless without action.

I am guilty of this. I live most my life in a dream state.

I will resolve to change that.

But for right now, I'm busy. Walking the path with the one I love; holding his hand tightly in mine.

I won't let go.

We'll make it through.

I promise.

Sunday *Snort* & Weekend Mantis Update

Click here to watch "Achmed" (this video cracked me up!!)


Weekend news:

MiniWarrior caught 3 billion (20) grasshoppers and shoved them into his habitat with Molly-the-Mantis and her 6 remaining cricket slaves.

When I dropped MiniWarrior off at his Dad's early this morning, Molly was huddled beneath the limb of the plastic habitat tree trying desperately to blend. As I kissed MiniWarrior goodbye she rolled a frantic Mantis eyeball my way and scratched out "save meeeeeee" with her claw.

Hehehehe.

Guess What Mah Punks?

It's mah Fridayyyyyyy.



Woop! Woop! *chuka chuka* Woop! Woop!

Tiddly Biddly Diddly Bit

16 days til Turkey time.

Pumpkin Pie Apple Pie Pecan Pie Sweet Potato Pie Mashed Potatoes Stuffing Gravy Ham Yams Green Bean Casserole Cranberries rolls ...

Are

You

Readayyyy?

This:



Plus This



Plus This



Equals---




Let the good times rolllllllll.

Folks, We Have...MANTIS!

Unfricken believable.

I thought all bugs were gone for the season so I "amused" MiniWarrior by taking him out to the field at I-HOP to frolick in the grass.

He thought he was going bug hunting.

I thought he was getting plain ol' exercise and fresh air.

Guess who was right?

Hmm???

Yeah.

Introducing: "Molly-the-Mantis and friends...aka...mantis lunch"



Guido-the-Cat meets Molly-the-Mantis



MiniWarrior checks out his latest prisoners

Ghosts, Goblins and Raisins, Oh My!

After a successful neighborhood candy raid we piled in my truck and headed for home.

"So, what kind of loot did you get?" I asked MiniWarrior.

"Hmm..."

rustle...rustle of loot being shuffled around in pumpkin basket

"There's a KitKat!" He happily called out.

"Score!"

"And a Hershey bar...and some suckers...and a recess..."

"Sweet!"

"You want it, Mom?"

"Yes!"

"You can't take his candy!" Lord V muttered beside me.

"The heck I can't. Everyone knows Moms get a percentage of the loot." I said while reaching behind me for the peanut butter cup clamped in MiniWarriors out thrust hand.

I chomped a bite out of the peanut butter cup and grinned a chocolate toothy grin at Lord V.

"Tsk." He said shaking his head in disapproval.

"Wanna bite?" I waggled the bitten cup towards him.

"Well...yeah." He said leaning in to take healthy nibble outta it.

"Ha!"

"Want another one, Mom?" MiniWarrior offered from his backseat lair.

"No, Hun. That's your candy. You keep it. Thank you!"

"See?" I said shooting a smug look at Lord V. "I can be mature."

"Pfft." He grunted in response.

"Wow I got some Hot Tamales and another KitKat and a Butterfinger and...what? Raisins! Ugh! That's just wrong! They're supposed to give me candy!" MiniWarrior exclaimed, unamused at the abhorrent sight of the healthy treat.

Lord V and I laughed and high 5'd each other.

After all. Halloween isn't truly Halloween til some do gooder tries to slide an apple past your candy guard in the name of their nutrition religion.

Ghoulish good times, Folks. Ghoulish good times.