I've discovered a skill.
Apparently I'm a Bum magnet.
This morning, after much nagging from Lord V. I decided to be brave and take the Max train to work instead of the express bus.
I slunk into a single chair that faced sideways (so I wouldn't have to share a seat with strangers) and cracked open my (Janet Evanovich: Twelve Sharp)book.
I was 3 pages deep into Stephanie Plum's arrest of the 72 year old porn shop owner, chuckling over the old bat nailing Rangers man Tank in the "family jewels"...when a large smelly shadow loomed over me then shifted and plunked into the seat adjacent to mine.
"How you doin'" the smelly shadow slicked out to me in his best Joey-from-Friends pick up voice.
I rolled an eyeball over the top of my book and nodded in his general direction then skittered my eyeball back to the center of my book.
"Yer sure lookin' pretty this mornin'"
I clenched my book tighter and hunkered down lower in my chair.
"Shy, huh?" He said with a raspy chuckle.
I lowered my book and speared him with my best pah~leese look.
He grinned at me treating me to a display of mangled yellow teeth coated with a years worth of plaque and pilfered cigarette butt nicotine.
I slunk back behind my book shield and hid there for the next 20 agonizing minutes while the hunk of burning bum love attempted to burn through it with his red rimmed laser beam eyeballs.
*shows you the hand*
Step back with your jealous rays beaming my way, I can't help my Bum Magnetism.
*tosses my hair with a haughty flip*
Don't be hating on me, Peeps cuz I got skills.
Sweet sweet skills.
6 years ago