Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fermented Meat

I grilled steaks last night on the outdoor BBQ.

They were fantabulous.

MiniWarrior ate his and half of mine. The kids hit the pre-teen-empty-leg-eat-me-outta-house-n-home age.

EWO, clutching a steak knife and fork, sawed on hers, consuming it with great gusto.

Lord V munched happily on his and polished off the last quarter of mine.

We reclined in the outdoor chairs with bellys full, happily absorbing the last bits of warmth of the day as the terrace fountain splooshed beside us making cheerful water drumming music.

Bliss...until the hiss.

I want you to know, I've been very good. I never eat meat anymore.

You don't? I heard myself ask then mentally bashed myself over the head. Why. WHY did you say that now she's gonna explain!

Nope. I don't eat meat. When one gets older they do not produce enough stomach saliva...

Oh sweet jesus......

so the meat lays in the stomach for a long time stacking up.

Lord V blanched, snatched up empty dishes and beat a hasty retreat inside while I sat traumatized struggling valiantly to rid my mind of the mental picture of a denture chewed hunk of meat fermenting in her wrinkled belly.


8 comments:

Slick said...

lol EWWWWWWw girl!!

Cindy said...

"Oh Sweet jesus!" Is right!...LOL!
*passes Kat another bottle Of Candian whiskey*
(((Hugs)))

Haphazardkat said...

Slick: I'm traumatized I tell you. Traumatized!!!

Cindy: *guzzles the whiskey and plots to move in with you and the children of the corn*

Peaceful said...

HAhaha! yuck!
old people have the weirdest concepts of how things work.
I'll have some diet coke with my bourban please :D

Laoch of Chicago said...

Having had an extremely toxic parent I learned the hard way that there is no winning just enduring. Courage! (as Dan Rather would say)

Haphazardkat said...

jadey: *creeps over with a case of coke, clutching the half empty bottle of whiskey*


Laochie: Truer words never said. Welcome back!! Did you rake in the money? :D

Aafrica said...

passive aggressive people are everywhere. i'm sure your EWO trained them all.

Haphazardkat said...

Aafrica: HA HA HA HA HAHA!! she probably did!!! eeek!