Saturday, August 30, 2008


EWO is gone for a few days terrorizing visiting people at a Christian Camp.

I packed MiniWarrior and her up in my truck and bailed outta here before the crack of 10AM; making the 50 mile back-country-get-the-hell-outta-my-way-or-I'll-mow-you-down trip in less than an hour.


We flung walked EWO to her cabin, hung around for a few minutes until she got outta sight settled...then MiniWarrior and I clambored back in my truck and we peeled outta there--back home to Lord V and reeeeeeeeeeeelaxation.

WOO! *pumps a fist*

She'll be dumped back at our doorstep return sometime Sunday evening by strangers she's bullied, bribed, hijacked paid to tag along with back to Vancouver.

Or else I'll have to go pick her back up (on my day off) on Monday.




Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Fermented Meat

I grilled steaks last night on the outdoor BBQ.

They were fantabulous.

MiniWarrior ate his and half of mine. The kids hit the pre-teen-empty-leg-eat-me-outta-house-n-home age.

EWO, clutching a steak knife and fork, sawed on hers, consuming it with great gusto.

Lord V munched happily on his and polished off the last quarter of mine.

We reclined in the outdoor chairs with bellys full, happily absorbing the last bits of warmth of the day as the terrace fountain splooshed beside us making cheerful water drumming music.

Bliss...until the hiss.

I want you to know, I've been very good. I never eat meat anymore.

You don't? I heard myself ask then mentally bashed myself over the head. Why. WHY did you say that now she's gonna explain!

Nope. I don't eat meat. When one gets older they do not produce enough stomach saliva...

Oh sweet jesus......

so the meat lays in the stomach for a long time stacking up.

Lord V blanched, snatched up empty dishes and beat a hasty retreat inside while I sat traumatized struggling valiantly to rid my mind of the mental picture of a denture chewed hunk of meat fermenting in her wrinkled belly.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Lord V took EWO and I out for a celebratory EWO birthday dinner last evening.
I had scoured my brain to think of a place to take her that had lots of festive European atmosphere. We decided on Gustuv's Pub and Grill. Their chicken schnitzel is the bomb!

We had a nice time and EWO regaled us with stories of her emigration from Holland to Canada in 1951. I had heard many of her stories growing up but hadn't really gotten the fine details of her actual emigration experience. It was quite fascinating and she was amazingly brave to have forged her way to a new country all alone.

We got back home and EWO disappeared for a few minutes then came back asking me if I noticed anything different about her.

I was downstairs peering up at her as she stood by the railing upstairs and shook my head. Nope. I saw nothing different?

She shook a strange object at me that looked like some dead animal pelt and informed me that she had been wearing a wig!

I hadn't noticed (I am still amazed by that) and told her it looked very natural. She beamed with pride then ducked and hid the thing back in her room when Lord V walked by so he wouldn't know she had been wearing a wig.

Later that night as Lord V and I lay talking in bed he suddenly said:

You know...this morning when your Mother was praying over her oatmeal...her head moved but her hair didn't!

I lost the ability to breathe for 10 minutes.

My chest still hurts this morning from laughing so hard!

Good times, Peeps. Good times.

does this look natural?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Happy Birthday to EWO

I spent an hour scouring the Internet on how to remove fire and brimstone stains from carpets this morning...why you ask? Cuz' its EWO's birthday and the demon that spawned her might decide to pop in for a visit. ;)

I'm just kiddin'. Really. Honest. Cross my heart...

Actually--the visit is going OK (so far) thanks to the superfantabulous generosity of spirit that is my beloved Lord V.

He chauffeured her around yesterday while I was hiding at work; fussing over her and making her feel all sorts of special.

She informed me last evening that I had wonderful taste in men and that she loved Lord V.

This was promptly followed up by my failure as a woman to marry him.

Okay then. Moving on...

I snuck up to her room this morning and laid out her birthday present, a card and some flowers so she'd have something to wake up to on her 82nd birthday.

Can you flippin' believe that?


That's like ancient.

So lets give a Happy Birthday shout out to EWO, cuz hell--anyone that survives that long deserves a little happiness comin' their way.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

EWO Arrival in 10...9...8...7...

I'm off to the airport in 15 minutes to pick up EWO

This will be her first meeting of Lord V.

Lordy Lordy--Help us all.

Wish us luck, Peeps.

Wish. Us. Luck.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Humpday News!

Well well well...what do we have here, hmm?

*cracks knuckles*

Yes indeedly--it's once again time for...

*drum roll*

Humday Neeeeeeeeeew new new new newsssssssssssss...!

Aafrica: Freaked me out by waiting in her place for a plumber to come check out a gas leak she caused by a previous insane cleaning spree. She waited 3 days to let me know she was still alive and hadn't blown her cats and herself up! *tsk* Girl...I'm too old to be carryin' stress shizzle like that! I need me some oil of olay cream for my newly spawned wrinkle now!

AMHW: Is a new comer to Humday news! Slink on over to her pad and show her some blog luv'n, will ya? I guarentee you'll luv her. She's been crackin' me up! *eyeballs her* step away from the measuring tape. step away.

Bob-a-roo: *sighs deeply* Oh Bob-Bob-Bob-a-roo. *shakes my head and tsks* What are we gonna do with you? Hmm? Yer crazy snappin picture ways are gonna get you lynched man. LYNCHED! *smothers a grin and waggles a stern Mom finger at you*

Catwoman: Survived the Mom visit and is already jonesing for her to come back. I have nothing smart a$$ to say about that cuz thats just plain coolness. As for the fang doctor you and hubs away!

Cindy (IronWoman): Wins the Blogger-of-the-Month award! The girl falls *SPLAT* while shoppin' and compress fractures some vertebraes in her back. Emergency visit and mucho drugs later she's back home restin' and has her daughter transcribe a blog to us lettin' us in on the back crackin' scoop. Ain't nuthin' keepin' this chickie from bloggin! Iron woman--that's what I'm dubbin' her. Go visit her and give her some kudo's, will ya? Chickies still hurtin' and needs some cheerin' up. *hug hug*

Cuteoverload: Has Lions, Tigers and oooomg "Look, Mom, they're wrestling"--Bears!!

Dragonlady: has spent her week in deep dragonhearted comtemplation. The rumble of her thoughts vibrate out and never fail to spawn some contemplation of my own. *scritch scritch of the dragon scale*

FlipFlop: That crazy devil horn makin chick has come back from her Def Leppard concert makin my week with multiple pics of her experience--complete with an email to me of the (now) famous tattoo etched onto her back! V_V You rawk, chickie. RAWK!

Jadey: Got some toy soldiers from her Daddy,that he got back in 1929, this week! I'm dyin for a picture of them. *shoots the shrek cat eyeball look in her direction*

Loachie: has been watchin' the Olympics, pumpin' iron and beefin' up. Hoowah! my man. HOOWAH! *licks donut glaze off my fingers and gives him the thumbs up*

Mei Lian: has been cooerced into berry pickin with her Mother Bing. Heheheeee...HEHEHEHEHEEE...Bwaahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!
I had nothin to do with that.
I told her nuthin. I'm innocent!
*looks around*
Hook me up with some cobbler, will ya? :D

PostSecret: This weeks favorite is--

Ohhh to be the fly on that copy machine wall.

Slickness: has been watchin the Olympics too--but unlike Laochie, the thing he's been pumpin' ain't iron...*quirks an eyebrow in his direction*

Svensto: (the 89yr old grandma of the daily coyote chickie)has held me mesmerized with her stories. I find myself mentally curling up by her chair and listening to her voice as she talks of the days of old.
Magic. Pure magic.

The Daily Coyote: *sigh* my god the girl has a gift. The pictures she takes captures so much emotion. I wanna lay kat kisses on Charlies nose...

Mrs X: I wanna party with this chickie! Seriously. Her last blog "I Don't Get Out Much" had me laughin so hard and jonesing to snag her up and drag her out with my girlfriends on one of our girls nights out!

So there you have it my blog Peeps. Another week gone. *wipes a tear*
Where oh where does the time fly to.

Dunno. Dun care cuz its my WEEKEND, Punk-a-roos!


Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Whom Will It Be???

Look Peeps!

I logged on tonight and saw I had 9,999 visits from y'all.

*drum roll*

Who shall be the magic 10,000th person? Hmm??

*waves at KiKi*

And we have a winner!

A mystery person from Riverside California

Visitor's Time Aug 19 2008 9:03:16 pm
Visit Number 10,000


Well Hells Bells its Tuesday!

So I was moping around the blogland yesterday, wondering as to why (most) of you Peeps hadn't blogged--thusly continuing your part in fulfilling the 'take my soul but spare me from boredom' pact I made with Lucifer in 1979...

bell bottoms, gauchos, platform sandals and ABBA for gods sake. 'Nuff said.

When it dawns on me that here it is, Tuesday and I hadn't blogged!


Who raised me anyways? Hmm? HMM?? Oh yeah. EWO did.

*makes note on iPhone calendar to make new therapy appointment*



Last night? I watched Alien for the first time.

Let me tell you, Peeps. That dang Alien didn't scare me. Nope.
I laughed my butt off when the little alien dude popped outta the guys chest, looked around, squealed and zoomed off with its tail draggin behind it!
Thats some good shizzle right there!

Nope. I'll tell you what freaked me out. It was the freakin' Robot Science dude that spewed milky crap everywhere!

Ew. Ew and triple EWWWWWW!

Thats just wrongness sealed in a can of SPAM, hangin off the hip holster of an ABBA freak.

Mmm Hmmm.



Speakin' of "wrongness"...
Look what came in my Happy Meal this afternoon?

Don't be hatin' on me cuz I gots me a bobble head Leia!

*Z snap*

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Pirate Encounter!

Argh! Be ye curious?



Here's a video I took of the sighting...

Click here to watch "Pirate-Ship-57"



Mia Lian sent me a link to a picture of the pirate boat with its sails unfurled!
Thanks, Mia Lian--you rawk!
Check it.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

His Royal Guido~ness

Ehn. Does this couch make my ass look big?

If that ass picture makes it on youtube I shall slay you in your sleep.

Look into my eyes...


Youtube. Slay. Capice?!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

To: Tessa From: Miniwarrior

Dear Tessa

I'm sorry you hurt your arm! I drew you some pictures to make you feel better.
My favorite thing is grasshoppers. Do you like grasshoppers?
I caught a 2 inch grasshopper today. It freaked my Mom when it jumped at her.
I hope your arm gets better.
I got my cast off Tuesday and now I wear a blue shoe.
Thanks for your drawing. I liked it a lot. You draw good!



Island Inhabitants

From my home office view, the Columbia River stretches out. The continual warmth of the summer sun has shrunk the water. A smatterings of small islands peek out and our local geese like to swim over to frolic there.

I posted a tiny video of it on my photo blog site

A Kats Eye View

For those who's network makes viewing videos a harsh process--here's a snapshot for ya :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Humpday News!

All right, all right. Settle down now, Peeps.

Open your Blog page to Humpday News #3.

*taps my ruler and eyeballs Bob-a-roo yackin to Cindy in the back row*

No Talkin!

Let's begin, shall we?

Aafrica: (our transplant from China) when's she's not busy having her wisdom teeth carved out *shudder* she is jonesing to go back home so she can watch the Olympics which is being held in her home town! Can you imagine how much fun that would be to head out there with her? I bet she knows all the best places to get the pre and post Olympic snacks at. *purrr* *purrrr*

Bob-a-roo: has been busy terrorizing the clerks at the local supermarket makin them pose for blog photos (ha ha ha ha--dude)He even got a pair of firemen to pose. Mmmm, Firemen....*purrr purrr*. He also lives in a neighborhood that is apparently filled with rednecks and crazy peeps. There ain't a day that goes by where sumthin' crazy is happenin'...domestic on blocks...wild tortoises runnin loose harassin dogs--oh wait--thats HIS house! hehehe. Oh Bob-a-roo. *shakes my head*

Catwomans Mom is visitin' and she can't even numb herself with alcohol cuz she's busy growin' her baby. *sigh* Girl...I feel for you. I just got off the phone with my brother not 20 minutes ago and was informed that EWO (evil wrinkled one) MOM is plotting to visit me within 2 weeks time. not enough alcohol in the world I'm so excited! *eye twitch*

Cindys spawn has hurt her wing which is tragic cuz she uses that wing to create purty things!--we heart Cindy's spawn cuz she makes beautiful drawings for MiniWarrior! (I'm talking to MiniWarrior tonight so he'll create a "get well" drawing for her)! Also--grand news, Cindy-o on the personal chiropractor session! *sigh* I need to sign up for one--I need me a lil reelaxation. Mmm hmm. *z snaps*

Cuteoverload has published a calendar! You can get one from Amazon--actually--I saw one at Borders bookstore. *girlie squeal cleanup on aisle 3!*

Dragonlady: has no new posts *taps my ruler and makes a note for her to see me after school*

FlipFlops about to embark on an epic Def Leppard concert trip! WOO! *devil finger sign* Rock ON! IF she survives the concert she's dragging her spawn to the badlands to camp in a Tee Pee. Have fun, Chickee--and bring me sumthin...that doesn't have scaly skin and rattle.

Indigo: has a puzzling picture showing multiple mini bottles of booze with a large gravestone in the background on a post she's entitled: Reinstate Hank *blank stare* I...I don't know what that means. Someone...anyone? *blink blink*

Jadeys blog has surpassed te 60k hit range! Someone give that girl a medal!! I'm at...what...lets see...9,859. *mutters and starts baking cookies to draw the blog flies in* (congrats Jadey!! *hug hug*)

Laochie has a link to a recipe that I'm going to make this weekend. Homemade Pop Tarts!! If I remember, I'll take pics ;)
Laochie is a man in the possession of many fascinating links.

Mei Lians place is one of sadness this week. Her cat Fat Luey was tragically killed by a reckless driver. We join her in mourning, Fat Luey. May he rest in peace :(

Mikey's been busy updating his blog space. Looks awesome, Buddy!! And the Madden thing? Hilarious :D

Postsecret: This? This cracked me the hell up! GO LEAN er I mean...GREEN!

Slick got himself a new toy!! Go see(its kid safe--one must clarify that before visitin pervs slicks blog). AND...his wife has once again proven what a SAINT! she is. We heart Slicks wife.

Svensto (Daily coyotes grandma) is pure awesomeness. If you haven't checked out her blog...then you clearly ignored your previous homework assignment I gave you *taps my ruler* therefore I will see you, you and...*points my ruler* YOU after school. *quirks a stern brow*

Shreve who's blog is the Daily Coyote is quite possibly the best photographer of coyotes named Charlie--Evah! Check her out (if you haven't already).

Which brings us to last but certainly not least, Mrs X. Peeps, I must say--I've been following Mrs X's blog since she was preggers with her baby girl. The baby is now 1 and Mrs X has just posted new pics of her. I find myself quite attached to the adorable little girl, having followed her growth progress while she resided in her Mrs X's belly. Every picture Mrs X shares shows this little one to be a creature so packed full of joy it spills out and radiates out of the computer screen into my world. We heart Mrs X's baby girl!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Tuesday *Snort!*

A coworker sent me this. I don't know who created this prank so I can't give credit to the person/s...but it was too funny not to pass on to you Peeps.

Due To Budget Cuts, This Is Your New Cubicle:

How freakin' funny is the mini fridge?!!

Hilarious Prank.

I applaud the culprit!!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Home again Home again..

I'm back, Peeps.

Very exhausting (but good) weekend. I met a lot (close to 400) of really nice people and my head is still buzzing from the sound of their collective voices.

Lord V and I spent last evening sprawled on the sofa with Guido-the-cat on one side and the "fro-dog" on the other. We caught up on shows we had missed and relished in the quiet peacefulness of our home.

Speaking of shows--have you all seen the show, Breaking Bad?
Click HERE to check it out (if you haven't). Great show, well worth a watch!

Other shows we like are In Plain Sight, Monk, Burn Notice, The Closer and Saving Grace.

We have a few more but these are the ones showing on TV right now.

What's your favorites?

Friday, August 08, 2008

Ah HA!

The hotel I am staying in has free WiFi! WOO!
*pumps a fist*

I have to tell you something.

If you do nothing else today--go HERE and read this ladies blog.

She is the 89 year old grandmother of the lady who writes The Daily Coyote blog (another fantabulous site--check it out)

I am completely captivated by her stories.




Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Goin' Outta Town

I headin' outta town for the week, Peeps.

I'll be back on Monday so blog blog blog so I'll have lotsa stuff to add to my Humpday news.

See ya inna week, Punk-a-roos!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Say What?!!

I just watched a video on MSNBC where Meredith Vieira--when describing the price People magazine paid for the Brad/Jolie twin babies pic--referred to Shiloh (their other baby) as "sloppy seconds" as her picture didn't garner the same amount of money.