Santa

I bought this inflatable Santa display for our Christmas party.

He is awesome!

The only thing?

He's supposed to be motion activated meaning when you walk by him he is supposed to start waving and spew out Santa phrases at you.

I set him up and walked by him...

nothing.

I waved my hand in front of his face...

nothing.

I jumped up and down waving my arms, wildly...

still nothing.

So out of frustration I socked him right in his fat Santa belly...

He immediately said, "I've checked my naughty list this year, and everyone was good!"

I about keeled over laughing then proceeded to punch him again and again...

and again...

He was a smash hit at our party. (pun intended)

Every time I walked by the living room I saw someone standing in front of him giving him a hearty belly punch while laughing manically.

Best year end therapy...ever.

Good times, my Peeps.

Good times.

Holiday Grandness and Exhaustion

How was every ones Christmas?

Lord V, MiniWarrior and I had a very nice, very sweet, very busy Christmas!

We finished off our Christmas holiday last night at a friends house which was filled with all of our family of friends.

We stayed up way too late eating Christmas leftovers and playing games--It was a great way to end the month long festivities!

We played a game called Apples? Then our group split where one group played Mexican Train (a domino game) while I and my friend and her daughter played the new board game "New Moon" that they had gotten as a Christmas present.

It was a bit confusing with the multiple strange rules and the fact that on half of the challenges you had to have seen the movie (which I haven't--yet--due to my stupid bout of Swine flu and Pneumonia--*shakes a fist at Murphy*)...but it was fun.

My girlfriend and I were total Cougars as we ooh'd and aw'd over the pictures on the playing cards of Jake and Edward--wrongness--I know...!!!! hehehehe

Best part of the night was when I miss read a challenge card to my friend while she was taking a sip of her Gin drink--causing her to choke and project the drink out of both nostrils like a flame shooting dragon!

Middle aged women with weak bladders should not be allowed to witness such things...

I'm just sayin'...

So yeah. Good times, as always.

I love our friends so very much and always have such a great time whenever we can get together.

Christmas Hello Kitty Loot this year?

Hello Kitty Panini maker
Hello Kitty Makeup mirror
Hello Kitty towel set
Hello Kitty Toothbrush holder
Hello Kitty dancing dolls
Hello Kitty tablecloth and (paper) dishes
Hello Kitty stickers
Hello Kitty notebook

I was spoiled with many beautiful gifts this year (XOXOXO to Lord V, MiniWarrior, family and friends).

Favorite present this year?

A new lens for Chanda!!!

It has a 15-85 lens with standard,wide angle AND Macro functions.

The first picture I took with it was in a half lit room with sunlight piercing through a window behind the people in the shot.

When I viewed the shot on the camera screen lets just say I needed a private room and a post privacy cigarette...

*wink*

The lens illuminated the people I was focusing on and muted the harsher spears of light behind them. No shadows, no false yellow from poor light...nothing but crisp clarity.

Unbelievable.

I cannot wait to take it out and see what it can all do!!

Thank you, my Lord V and--so you don't mock me for mooning over every gift other then the jewelry you bought me...

I love them. Very very much and cannot wait to wear them.

Especially while out taking fabulous pics with Chanda's new lens!!

Hehehehe :D

Best Christmas Story: Through The Eyes of a Grumpy Teen

One of our own blogger Mom's had her teen guest blog about an incident that happened to her while at work.

Peeps, I'm tellin' you. You have to go and read her story.

But. Bring tissues. It's written so well and is such a touching story I dare you to try and read it without crying.

Go.

HERE.

http://cindysbubble.blogspot.com/2009/12/tessas-guest-appearance.html

And leave the girl a comment, will ya? She did a fantastic job.

Christmas Ships on Columbia River

At our Christmas party on Tuesday, we were very excited when the Christmas ships paused, on their way to their scheduled tour at Steamboat Landing, to circle in front of our house, showing off their decorated ships.

We yelled and cheered and flashed our house lights at them in exuberant appreciation for their kindness. It totally made our night!

This evening MiniWarrior, Lord V and I watched Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer slurping on gigantic candy canes.

After the show we looked up to see the Christmas Ships were on the river circling in front of our house again!

We yelled "MERRY CHRISTMAS" and flashed the house lights at them, so excited that they have been so sweet to put our house on their list of places to show off their decorated boats!

Totally cool. Totally awesome!

To those kind souls who circled our house, THANK YOU!!! We LOVE your decorated boats and plan our Christmas party around you, filling our home with excited friends who love and appreciate your efforts very, very much!

Facebook Cult has kidnapped me!

I realized this week that I hadn't been to my blogger home in a couple of weeks!

Why you ask?

One word.

FACEBOOK!

Yes. *hangs head* I have joined the cult that is Facebook.

I resisted because really--why would I join all the lemmings that have flung themselves off the blog cliff into Facebook land?

I was snobby. I turned my nose at Facebook lemmings heartily refusing to even think about joining.

Then. It happened.

My brother was notified by gradeschool classmates of mine who were seeking me out.

Then, college friends hounded me with their offers of "join facebook and see how we all look like now!" requests.

And? Really. The allure to see what everyone looks like after 30 years was too tempting to resist.

So. I joined.

"Just to see the pictures and then I'd delete my account" I assured myself.

Then I got game requests from friends whom I had added so I could see their pictures.

I clicked on one game. An amusing little game called FARMVILLE.

You can plant and grow your crops...buy or receive animals from other farming friends, buy houses...

Suddenly I found myself logging in compulsively to see how my crops were growing. Or if someone had found a stray animal on their farm that I could adopt for my farm.

Then...the fish tank game invites came and I thought...well...I'll join that game and feed my fish while waiting for my crops to grow...

Yeah.

3 fish tanks, a Kats Chow Cafe, a farm, a Zoo a pet at petville that is like a virtual Hello kitty who's house you can decorate...and another pet app where I feed and care for 4 cats...oh and Vampire wars and some sort of Harry Potter Wizard war game later and....

Facebook now owns my soul.

*sigh*


What little time I do have left is spent working and planning mega Christmas parties.

One which is tonight at our home. It's Christmas Ship party time!!

And tomorrow is our work Christmas party which I've been working along side my boss in helping arrange and organize as well as zooming out and gathering swell door prizes. YAY!

I've been trying to take it easy as I'm still getting over the pneumonia plague but really people, I ain't got time to lay around!

Speaking of...*peers at my watch* I gotta run. My fish on Fishville need feeding or they'll go belly up.

Oh sure. Mock me! But I'm tellin' you, I've invested time and click energy feeding those bastards so I can harvest them for experience points and gold...so I can buy more fish which I can feed and clean up after so I can harvest them for experience points and gold which then I can buy more fish so I can...

Oh god.

Someone. Help me!

and by help? I mean join Facebook so you can be my neighbor so I can expand my farm so I can grow more crops and get more experience points and...

Seriously.

Help.

Me...

Daily *Snort*

You have got to click on this link...

http://microsuede.blogspot.com/2009/11/movie-review-twilight-saga-new-moon.html

hahahahahahaha!!!


*mope*

ACK!!!

So, yesterday Lord V and I stopped at a Sonic Drive In (fast food joint for those who do not know what Sonic is).

It's new to our area and we had yet to try it even though we'd been bombarded with Sonic commercials for the past 3 years!

I was driving my truck which required a bit of tricky maneuvering to pull into the tiny drive in slot. (Remember those? A&W used to have them)

mmmm A&W

*blink*

Anyways...as I was sayin'...

I pulled into the drive in slot right next to the little menu. We perused it for a bit waiting for someone to come out and take our order when I spied the red button by a speaker on the board.

DOH!

I reached out to push it but alas, I was too short so I had to open my door and lean one leg out of my truck to be able to reach the button to place our order.

"Get me a Recess Pieces shake" Lord V called to me.

I stretched, pushed the button and leaning as close to the little speaker as possible I yelled...

"I'd like a large Recess Penis Shake!"

Then froze in horror as my brain rewound what I had just yelled, then promptly fell in to a fit of giggles that would have done a 12 year old girl proud.

Yeah.

I'm back, my Peeps.

I'm. Back.

And....I'm Back!

After much sleep and much lazing on the sofa--I have recooperated enough to rejoin society :)

I went for a checkup on Wednesday, was given more pain pills (woo!) for the headaches that still plague me and an inhaler for when I grow winded from my ailing lungs having to work overtime.

I have been pounding the internet stores getting my Christmas shopping done. I've gotten quite far and found some really cool stuff!

Today Lord V and I ventured out and did some more shopping.

We came home after picking MiniWarrior up from school and I became consumed with the need to get my Christmas village up.

It is done--except for the fake snow that I must still buy to drizzle over everything--and then it will be complete!!

Wait...I'll take a quick pic of it with my iPhone.

Hang on..brb...

Ok I'm back. Miss me? ...

Here ya go.


Ooooooo!


Ohhhhhhhhh!!


Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

Ok one more...


Gabby Abby attacking the Christmas Cat :)

So. There ya go.

Aren't you glad I'm feelin' better?

*grin*

I Think I shall (yet) Live...

Two days of confinement have passed and I do not yet strain at my tethers.

A true sign of being very ill, to be sure.

Thank you all for your well wishes.

I do, indeed, feel much better although still very fragile.

I've learned I cannot walk and talk at the same time.

Well I say "walk" when I really mean the thing I do when shuffling my slipper clad feet across the floor from my bedroom to the bathroom and on to the sofa.

I do believe the week I spent with EWO took something vital out of me and this is my minds way of making myself lay quietly and repair the marks she lay open inside of me.

I cannot continue to do this.

I made a vow that I will not ever attend to her again for that amount of time without having a safe haven to retreat to.

In my home I can turn my face into Lord V's and my friends embraces to hide, and revitalize and re-engergize.

I am no longer the "tough" person I had to be to survive growing up.

Being surrounded by loving friends both in blogland, my clan of friends close by me and my Lord V and our sweet little family--I have gentled and can no longer fling up the iron barriers against the ugliness that was my past.

Tis a good thing. A wonderous thing.

And something that I must teach myself to keep around me at all times instead of trying to face things alone.

And I thank you. All. For this amazing gift.

Sick Kat

I just got back from emergency.

I've been sick with flu...after much drugs and two IV bags of fluid, it has been determined I have pneumonia.
ugh.

I've been ordered to full bed rest for a week.

Nurse gave Lord V his General Star so I am now under his watch.

Drugs. Good. Bed. Good. Week confinement?...*sulk*

Happy Thanksgiving!

I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday!!!

Potato Menu

I took a snapshot of part of the menu for the potato vender for y'all.



Mmm Mmm Goodness!

Hot Potato!

There is a new food cart in town, right by my work building.

It's called Spud Locker...and it sells...BAKED POTATOES!!!!!!

Why am I yelling this information?

Because BAKED POTATOES are my favorite food in the world!

hehehe

Life. Is. Good.

Home Again

Thanks to all my blogger friends who offered their shoulders for me to lean on while I ranted about my stay with EWO.

It is very good to be home.

I have made two resolutions:

1. I must seriously think of cutting off all contact with EWO.

2. I resolve to be kinder in my actions to those around me. I have slacked off on this area and I apologize to all those whom I have been selfish to.

MiniWarrior remained undamaged from the week with EWO and was excited about having traveled to Houston.

I. Well I am weary to my very bones.

I feel like I've battled in a particular ugly skirmish and came away alive but with fresh scars.

My insides hurt.

It is a particular painful thing to look into the face of rejection.

Children's Museum

Today I am taking MiniWarrior to the Children's Museum.

Many people speak of how wonderful it is. He's hopping with excitement :)

Wednesday I took him to the Houston Zoo. I'll download some of our pics and try and post one later today.

My favorite? The baby Orangutan who kept harassing his Mother!

I wonder why that was my favorite? hehehe :D

Tomorrow (early) MiniWarrior and I head back to Lord V and our home in Washington.

I. Can't. Wait.

Homicidal Kat

MiniWarrior showing EWO a wind up Praying Mantis toy he got at a 5 and 10 store today:

"Look, "EWO" isn't it cool?"

"Pft. It's a shame how many toys you have. I tell all my friends that you have way too many toys."

MiniWarrior looked at me puzzled.

"He's fine, EWO. Leave the boy alone." I said.

"No no. He has way too many toys. It's terrible."

"You know what that means when a child has lots of toys? It means they are loved." I said smiling reassuringly at MiniWarrior.

"Well. My kids never had so many toys and I had 4 kids."

"Yes. I know." I said looking her in the eye. "I was one of them."

"I was a good Mom, because you learned to work instead of being spoiled with toys." She said jerking her head in a self righteous nod.

I hugged MiniWarrior and whispered in his ear to ignore EWO. That she didn't understand kindness.

"I know, Mom" He whispered back. "She's a mean person and doesn't know how to be nice."

He is growing up and learning to see people for who they are instead of through the veil of innocence that layer a childs eyes.

I am proud and I am sad.

And I resolve to buy him another toy the next opportunity I can.

Another EWO Gem...

Wait wait...I almost forgot to post this gem of EWO's today.

We were waiting with a group of people for the shuttle that would take us to the Medical Center this morning.

EWO complimented a woman's hair (wait for it...wait for it) then when the womans husband who had chemo patches of hair on his head said, "What about mine?" EWO snorted and said, "No, not yours, you're bald!"

oh wait...it gets better...

While the woman softly stroked her husbands back and reassured him that she loved his hair...EWO stood beside me and said:

"You know, my friend in Mexico read on the computer that men--like that guy--pointing to the man she had just insulted...who have belly's that hang over their belts have no sex drive what-so-ever because they're so fat."

As we were standing right by the poor guy he could not help but hear her. The group shot her a stunned look and I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from them.

"Mom. That guy obviously has cancer." I whispered scoldingly to her.

"Oh dear. That poor poor man." She said.

Then proceeded to talk about friends of hers who had died horrible deaths from cancer through the entire shuttle ride to the Medical Center.

How she's lived to reach 83? Is a complete mystery to me.

EWO Update

After an entire day in the doctors office we have discovered that there will be no surgery for EWO.

The organ they refer to as her "heart" is in pretty good shape for her 83 years. They are going to pump her full of meds and do further stress tests on her next Tuesday, before releasing her to slither back to her Mexico lair.

She is fretting because she doesn't want to pay for another hotel room once MiniWarrior and I leave on Saturday. She can afford it, she just considers it a waste of money...

Here is a gem from a conversation she had with the nurse before we left the doctors office today:

"My friend in Mexico said that when she had tests here she didn't want to stay in a hotel so they gave her a key to a storage room and let her sleep there. Isn't that perfect? Could I have that room?"

The nurse blinked at her and said, "I don't have a key to a closet for you to stay in."

As she walked away to finalize a follow up appointment for EWO, EWO whispered, "I thought she'd offer for me to stay with her...but she hasn't said anything to me."

Ah the crazy twisted mind that is EWO.

I couldn't make this stuff up if I sat for a month on a mountain top and pondered the craziest thing I could think of.

And trust me. I can think up some crazy shizzle.

As always...

Good times.

Goooooooood times.

Deep Breathing Exercises

I'm laying on the hotel bed breathing deep trying to rid myself of the urge to tie EWO's wrinkles in a Mafia necktie.

The sound of her praying in tongues (undecipherable language to non demon ears)...snakes up the stairway to my loft hideaway.

Miniwarrior escaped to the outdoor stairway. His fortress of solitude.

Over breakfast this morning she reached a claw over and gripped Miniwarriors arm.

"Don't let him get any heavier", she hissed.

"Stop". I warned.

"No. He needs to watch his..."

"Stop it. Right now.". I snarled.

For I know if she is not immediately checked she will spew hurtful poison.

"Oh I know what I'm saying". she hissed. "I've raised kids."

"Yes, I know how you've raised kids". I said looking straight into her eyes."

"Don't talk to me like that". she sulked.

"Then back off of my kid". I said-unfased by her pout. "I won't tell you again"

She slunk back into her wrinkled shell and pouted.

MiniWarrior looked at me with wide eyes. He didn't understand why Mom sounded mad.

EWO slithered off to get some more breakfast and I explained how sometimes "grandma" says rude things just because she can.

"Why?" He asked. His beautiful innocent eyes blinking over at me.

"I think because no one ever tells her not to be" I said. "But I will because you are my son and I won't allow her to be rude to you."

MiniWarrior smiled at me. "That's because you're a nice Mom and you won't learn to be rude like grandma."

"No, son, I won't. I'm your guard dog and I'll snarl at anyone who gets near my puppy."

He giggled and toasted me with his juice cup. "Woof woof!"

"Woof Woof!" I said and clicked my coffee cup against his.

Houston...We've Arrived!

MiniWarrior was so excited to be on an airplane. It made me feel a little bad for having waited so long to take him on one.

The nice lady who's seat assignment was by the window, changed places with Miniwarrior so he could stare out the window. She was very sweet and I found out she works in the same building as I do!! LOL. Small world.

I had filled two carry ons with games and coloring pens and paper, MiniWarriors movie player, iPod...etc hoping to keep MiniWarrior occupied on our 6 hours of flight time.

He colored on two sheets of paper and watched a third of a movie. The rest of the time he sat with his nose pressed against the plane window exclaiming how beautiful everything was from way up high!

"Oh wow, Mom. I feel so small!"

"Look at those clouds, don't they look like mashed potatoes?"

"Where's my camera? I GOT to take a picture of this!" (he's so my boy...hehehe)

Everything went great...until we got to the airport. EWO was supposed to meet us at our baggage terminal--which of course she never showed up at.

I expected this, which is why I hired a driver instead of relying on a cab.

Thank goodness I did. Her terminal ended up a 10 minute freeway drive from ours.

The driver pulled over, I hopped out and found her casually pushing her luggage around the terminal humming to herself like she had no cares in the world.

No...omg I'm so sorry, I didn't reaize there wouldn't be a way to get to your baggage terminal...I was so worried we wouldnt meet up!"

Just, "oh, I knew you'd come."

Nice that she has so much faith in me.

grind grind grind

*sigh*

She was very happy to see MiniWarrior and I though, and both he and she are ensconsed in their hotel beds snoozing while I am write this blog rant.

Do ya sense its going to be a long week, Peeps?

Yeah.

good times...

good times.