Tuesday, July 31, 2007

2 Legged Goodness

What a brave sweet soul this doggie has.

Click HERE to watch video of a two legged doggie.

We kats give this Two Claws UP!


"Eh em"

*taps the microphone*


"Testing one...two..."

"Okay. Can everyone hear me?"

"I have some GEEK news for you of great importance"

I have discovered a GAME that is FREE.


Go forth and download it HERE.

And soon you will be doing THIS:

and THIS:

and THIS!!!

Download it.

You know you wanna!

Mmkay. My job is done.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Monday *Snort!*

Sprint, To The Principal's Office!



nah nah nah nahhhhh nahhhh.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Ouchi Ouch Ouch

Dearest Readers:

You know what sucks?

When swim suit straps do not match the same place where your bra straps lay--and you're sunburned.

It SUCKS that men don't have to deal with this. Mmm hmmm...SUCKS!


Sulky Sunburnt Kat

PS. Yes (Mother-who-lives-inside-my-head) I know...I'm officially "going to hell" for using the word SUCK and BRA on a public blog.
Meh...suck suck suck...bra bra bra.
Lucifer, get my condo ready, I'm a comin' home.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

ARGH! We Be Sailin' The High Seas!

MiniWarrior and I went out sailing today with some very good friends of ours.
It. Was. Awesome!

They had a cat that has the trampoline between the two legs of the vessel. We lay on the trampoline and rode the waves.

Nothing beats the sound of the Splish Splash of waves spraying around us followed by MiniWarrior shrieking WOO HOO! This is AWESOME!! hehehehe

Good times. Good times.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Camping Success: *Groan*

Ow. ow ow ow ow ow. *shiver* ow.

'scuse me while I stretch and work the kinks outta my post camping body.

Ow. ow ow ow. *shiver* ow ow ow.

Oookay. So. I set up the tents in the backyard last night and we went a-camping, as promised!

*shiver shiver* ow

It was a grand time. Grand! honest...really...*nods my head vigorously* ow ow

MiniWarrior was so excited. He was darting back and forth cooking hot dogs, burning marshmallows and squishing them to make 'smores. Then zooming off to hunt for bears and boars in the backyard. Then zzzzzzip, back again for another 'smore! lol. Too cute.

MiniWarrior wanted his tent (even though I had just bought a larger tent for us and set it up) So...my Man and I dragged it from his room. He poked his head in it ONCE then promptly claimed the larger tent as his.

It was a comfy nest in the larger tent, I must say. I had inflated the queen size air mattress then wedged it through the twin size opening on the tent. THAT was fun...

I didn't pack enough blankets though and woke up shivering at 2AM with the air mattress half inflated so the deck boards were pressing against me beneath the tent.

MiniWarrior was snoring away so I buried myself as much as possible beneath the blanket and drifted in and out of agonizing slumber until 6AM (when MiniWarrior bolted awake and declared he had to use the bathroom...NOW!! MOM...NOW!!)

We crawled into the house shivering with old Mom joints creaking. My Man was asleep upstairs. yes...UPSTAIRS. He sacrificed his spot in the tent because "darn, MiniWarrior wanted to sleep in the tent with me so there was no room." Uh huh.

He laughed at the sight of me this morning and said,"Just wait 'til I tell MiniWarrior that you want to go camping with him tomorrow night, too!"

I glared.

He belly laughed.

Until I told him:

"Yes. But this time I'll sacrifice my spot in the tent and you'll be sleeping out there!"

He stopped laughing.


Camping Nests

MiniWarrior and Campfire!

Cookin Hotdogs! Mmm

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Hello Kitty Bongness!

This just in.

Someone has created a Hello Kitty Bong!

That's wrong....right?


*taps a thinking finger on my chin*

Yeah...it's definetly wrong. Mmm hmm. Definetly.

*whistles innocently*


Sprint Sucks

I have been a loyal Sprint customer for 5 years but I'm ditching them as soon as my contract is up January 24, 08.

Did you know that if you change the minutes on your plan--they automatically sign you up for another 2 year contract with them?

I spent an hour on the phone between being on hold and talking to a Sprint supervisor. They won't budge. Change minutes? (thats...change minutes to LESS than you had--I've changed minutes and details on my plan before without having to resign) and you now are Sprints B*tch for another mandatory 2 years.

I explained to the Supervisor that I had planned on renewing my contract with them (as usual) come January...but that now that they were bullying me into staying with them, I would NOT be renewing.

Hasta La Vista, Sprint. Come January I shake the dust off my feet and will never be your customer again.

Just one more excuse to save up for a new i-phone!

**update** I called Sprint and told them I wanted to cancel my service with them. Within 10 minutes I had the service I originally requested with no new contract penalty.
I will not be renewing my contract in January. 2 hours of wrangling and being reduced to rudeness--Unacceptable service.

A Camping We Will Go

MiniWarrior has expressed to me that if we do not go camping, his Summer will not be complete.
A camping we will go. (god help me)

I've devised a plan to appease my MiniOne. I have purchased a tent and will set it up in the backyard. We will build a little bonfire (I have a sandpit area) and roast marshmellows and hotdogs.

Other than the constant grind of traffic noise, it will be as close to a camping experience as I can (ok, am willing) to offer. He can even toss a fishing line into the creek and pretend to fish.

AND...if we get bored or the tent is too hot? Home is a few steps away!

Am I not a genius? Hmm? Huh?

You may post your accolades in 10...9...8....7...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Snap Crackle POP!


I've been looking at buying a little house since (as you all know) the one I'm currently renting is going up for sale August 1st. It's an adorable house with a beautiful backyard--creek running through it--its a mini paradise. Except, like all paradise places, there is a snake residing there. This snakes name is State Route 14.

My beautiful little backyard butts up against it and oh. my. GOD. at the incessant, unbearable NOISE! MiniWarrior won't play in the backyard. It's too hard on him to have that much constant noise happening. He doesn't even like to sleep in his room because the noise of the traffic echo's.

So yeah. We aren't buying that house and so, we have to decide where to live next.

Thing is, I hate the thought of moving again. The work, the resetting up..etc. Bleh.
I would love to find someplace permanent to move to but have you SEEN the housing market lately? Sheesh! People are trying to pawn off mobile homes for 200k. Mobile Homes! I don't think so.

I started looking at apartments. Spent some time yesterday researching them. I figure tossing money on a rental home was using more monetary resources. I could be saving money towards the future purchase of a home just in utilities alone.

Sounds good. Right?

I zipped over to an apartment complex yesterday after work. I had scoured their website and it seemed pretty promising. Playground for MiniWarrior--a pool. The apartments were split level with an attached garage. Yes yes. All good. It would be like a minihouse until the market settled and we could buy a home of our own.


I pulled into a concrete jungle filled with dilapidated, two story buildings that sagged precariously on their cracking foundations.

Hmm. Not quite the paradise the website mentioned. I thought. But, I figured I was there already so I'd check things out.

I sat in the rental office that smelled of mothballs and mold but looked fairly nice with faux cherry wood desks and upper end plastic plants. The Rental lady took me out to look at an empty apartment. As we wound our way through the maze of discolored buildings I kept pressing down the need to run. Far. Far away. I gamely pressed on and stepped through the door of the vacant apartment with a sickly smile at the nice rental lady.

"Isn't this nice?" She beamed at me, sauntering through and turning on lights.

I stood and blinked at her clamping my mouth tight. I think a little whimper escaped because a flash of panic flickered across her eyes and she went into a flurry of sales talk, flitting through the dank, stain filled place with frantic energy trying to whip some excitement into me.

"You see? This is a wonderful kitchen. Isn't it? Isn't it?!" I looked over at the peeling formica--rectangle shotgun style space--that huddled miserably beneath a blinking florescent light.

"Um..." I looked at her then back at the kitchen and winced.

"Well, let's look at the bedrooms, shall we?" She said mincing away from the kitchen from hell and down the narrow hallway. I eyed the open front door and thought of bolting.

The bedrooms were, well--I'm still shuddering and might need some therapy to remove the rancid images from my brain.

I bolted as soon as politely possible. I headed down the road back to my house with tears of depression blurring my vision. Apartments were out of the question. I just couldn't go back to dark squares of living space surrounded by the masses of community living.

Once home, I spied the red blinking eyeball of my phone telling me there were messages. I plunked down in my chair and dialed voicemail.

It was the Realtor. She wanted to arrange a time she could come over and view the house to give the owner an estimate of what he could sell it for. I felt my heart sink as she droned on and on about scheduling visiting times and meeting times and lock boxes.

I hung up the phone and looked around my little home. Memories of the year spent there with friends and family. Done. It was finished. Time to change. To begin again.

Too much change. Too many times of starting over. My strength meter flickered below the E line. I dialed up my guy to tell him about the realtor call. He was distracted by a project he had been laboring all day on. I could hear it so I hung up the phone and felt my reserves shudder to a halt.

I flung my phone away from me. It bounced off the floor and rolled against the entertainment center...in pieces. I stared down at my broken phone and snapped.

It was all just too much. My job, my house, my family...all just too much. I sobbed while trying to piece my phone back together. A crackle. A sign of life. Somehow I was able to redial my guy...the last person I had called. The phone had gone into speakerphone mode.


"Can you hear me?"


"Please", I sobbed back into the piece of phone still working,"Can you hear me?"

"Yes! What..."

"Come over...please. I've broken my phone!"

"I'll be right over."

I curled into my sofa clutching my broken phone to me and wailed like the desperate child I had become.

He found me there, still clutching my phone and sobbing into the arm of my sofa.

"Honey. What's wrong?"

"I...I've broken my PHONE!"

He must have thought I was crazy. Actually, I think he had suspicions about the validity of my sanity before, but I think I nailed that allusive assumption down tight.

So many things broken these past 2 years. So many things lost. It felt good to finally just scream them out in a psychotic crying jag.

Things will be Okay. My guy is off today to transfer my broken phone to his old phone (he just bought one of those cool i-phones so he had a spare phone)...and we are going to look for another house we can rent in the next month.

So we are gathering up the pieces and beginning again.

Deep breath.

That's what life is all about isn't it? Beginning again. And Again. And again...

Right? ... right?

Monday, July 23, 2007

Anyone Wanna Adopt A Kat and her Sidekick?

Free To Good Home: One Haphazardkat, MiniWarrior and Guido-the-cat

We are house trained and clean up after ourselves.

We don't require much. Just daily scritches and some Jedi toys and space for a computer and game machine. And..well...a tiny space for Hello Kitty toys. Oh, and MiniWarrior says "room for bagel supply".

We've had all our shots.

Contact us at Soon2behomeless@Haphazardkat-n-MiniWarrior

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Pirate Wedding Pics!

Here be some Pirate Wedding pics.

Happy newly wedded Pirate couple

MiniWarrior/Pirate: ARGH! I must steal pirate wedding booty! ARGH!

Pirate Wedding Booty

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Kat Birthday: RAWR

Happy Birthday to meeeeee
Happy Birthday toooo meeeeee
Happy Birthday to me, haphazardkatttttttt
Happy Birthday to meeeee.

Bring on the cake.


Friday, July 20, 2007

A Paws of Thanks

Thank you to all my friends in Blogland (and off) who group hugged MiniWarrior and I after my (depressing) post of Uprootedness.

MiniWarrior, the one we love, and I are working on things.

A battle which involves the heart is so much more intense than any other battle I know of. Isn't it? My heart is exhausted...but after yesterdays battle, it's semi at peace.

One of the greatest gifts the one we love has given me is he listens. He leans into the things I say and listens. And I know he loves us.

I will take this peaceful lull for now and embrace it.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

UpRooted Kat and MiniWarrior

I came home last night to find a letter from my property management.
Apparently the house I am renting is going up for sale and they will begin showing it August 1st.

So. MiniWarrior and I must begin the quest for new living quarters.

This isn't such a horrible thing. It happens when one rents instead of owns a house. Thats not what has me down.

What has me down is bigger. Much bigger than "shifting houses".

What has me down, feeling hopeless, is the person MiniWarrior and I love, doesn't want to live with us. Be a family with us. Share a home with us.

There has been excuses about where we live. That the housing arrangement wasn't condusive to needs. I've worked overtime to try and work things out to change that. To meet everyones needs. You'd think I'd have learned by now that one can tear their heart out working towards a goal with no end result because it takes two to want that same goal.

When did I become so pathetic that I've resorted to pleading with someone to share my life with me?

This isn't about money or the walls that form the home MiniWarrior and I will live in.

This is about family. About melding lives together because people love each other and can't imagine living without each other.

I've known that I've been working towards a goal that is hopeless. I could see it months ago. I've cried so many stupid tears over that fact I'm sick of myself.

Where do MiniWarrior and I go from here?

The one we love said, "Why are you so down, can't you just get another house?"

I swear I heard something break inside me.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

For Aafrica: And the rest of you kitty addicts!

I was admonished by Aafrica fer not posting more kitty pics.
You SEE how bossy those addicts are?!
We're currently devising an intervention plan...*eyeballs Aafrica*...but for now, here's your daily kitty fix!

When wearing short sweaters, a feline must be careful to keep their legs properly together. Squeeze the knees, ladies!

Beware falling objects...and sleepy toddlers!

When confronted with evidence of destruction...feign huffy indignant pose.

If that doesn't work, camouflage yourself.

Embrace your fluffiness...no matter how much of it there is.

No. Not THAT fluffiness!

Go forth and enjoyeth your day...cuz that's all I got.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Grumble Grumble

Well crap! I'm bored.

I've stalked all yer guy's blogs today...TWICE! (ok maybe three times. I've lost count...)
*raises hand in the air* yep. That's me. Blog stalking Kat--stuck at work, bored bored bored outta her mind.

*sighs and fiddles with stuff on my desk*

LA LA LA this is me bored LA LA LAAAAAAA.

Somebody. Help. Me.


Sunday evening I went to bed early, exhausted from the late night Pirate Wedding and then next day early morning work rising.
I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard my phone ring downstairs.

"Oh Gawd I'm so not answering that" I mumbled, drifting off again when I had a sudden thought that had me jerking up and slinging my legs over the bed.

MiniWarrior had started a new medication. (I had given a supply of it to MiniWarrior to give to his Step Mom when I dropped him off earlier that morning) They were probably calling wanting more details.

I stumbled downstairs and checked the caller ID. Yep. It was his Dad's number. The red eyeball indicating voicemail blinked at me. I dialed the number rubbing sleep from my eyes.

"Momma. I miss you." MiniWarriors voice said to me from Voicemail land. I felt my heartbeat catch then pinch with warring emotions: love and guilt.

I dialed his Dad's number and MiniWarrior answered.

"Hi Mom! I called 'cuz I missed you. You said I could call when I missed you!"

"Of course, Hun. I miss you too and love hearing your voice." I moved over to my chair and curled into it holding the phone close to my ear.

"How many hours has it been since I saw you?" MiniWarrior asked.

I eyed the clock. "15 hours. Wow. That's a long time, huh?"

Little boy sigh "Yeah, Mom. It sure is. I shoulda given you one more hug and kiss."

"That's okay. We'll give each other a hug and kiss on Wednesday when Momma picks you up."

"Yeah!" MiniWarrior said with a giggle. "I'll give you a great big Raspberry kiss!"

"I'm giving you one now!" Making kissing noises in the phone.

MiniWarrior giggled delighted at my silliness making kissing noises back at me.


These are the good times, Folks. The precious moments of life that fill the empty spaces with all that is warm and wonderful.

Monday, July 16, 2007

One Two Three Four: Multiple Kitty's We Adore!

Okay. Admit it.

The only reason you slink on over to this blog is to view the latest kitty picture, isn't it?


*peers at you and nods my head sagely*

Mmm hmm. That's what I thought.

*leans back in my chair and strokes my chin*

Sooo. Now that we've acknowledged that. What shall we do? Hmm?

What's that? Bring on the kitty pics?

Alright. Alright! Tsk. kitty addicts are soooo pushy!



Have Sweater. Must. Snuggle!

Look! It's the Ying and Yang of Kitties!

I'm just gonna rest my largeness upon this here cement thingie. Oof! Ahh.

Wazzat? You want more you say?

Tsk. Okay. One more...


Okay. That's it, Folks. I'm cutting you off.

*shoo's you*

Now go forth and enjoy your day!

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Yarg! It Be A Pirate Wedding

Some friends of mine were married last evening under the shade of an Oak tree, garbed in Pirate regalia.

MiniWarrior and other miniPirates ran around stabbing at each other with their plastic swords behind the crowd of matrimonial witnesses while we listened to our friends dedicate their lives to each other.

In short simple words that I can best recall:
"I'm not a poet but I tell you this now, plain and true: From this day forward, your battles become mine and I will fight them with you no matter what they be... I love you and ask you to be my wife."

"I'm not a poet, but I tell you this now, plain and true: Your dreams and wishes become mine and I will work with you to make them come true... I love you and am honored to take you as my husband and be your wife."

It brought tears to my eyes, people. The purity, simplicity, the raw honesty--it touched me.

This is life at its best.

Argh. The Kat be mighty pleased.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

What Then Is The Definition Of Survival?

Today is my adopted sister's birthday.
We spent 12 years sharing the same room and watched each other grow up.

I used to be proud of the fact that we survived our hellish childhood. These past two years have shown me that we haven't survived all that well.

I used to feel proud of the fact that I not only survived but succeeded; feeling amazed at that fact while watching my other siblings struggle in their adulthood.

Today I don't feel proud or successful. Today I feel...sad.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Round and Round With EWO We Go: Send Booze.

Crazy conversation with EWO this morning: Part 2

"Your brother bought me a DVD player.
I said 'what the heck am I going to do with a DVD player?
I don't know how to run that thing."

"It's easy, Mom. Have someone set it up for you in Mexico and show you how to start a movie on it with the right button." I added helpfully.

"Well what do I need with that thing?
I have my tapes and besides, I'd rather have those round things."

"Round things?"

"Yes, you know. The round things that plays stuff."

"CD's? That's pretty much the same thing as a DVD, Mom."

"No no no. Not a CD. The round thing."

"What round thing?"

"Oh come on. You know what I'm talking about. The ROUND thing."

What the...is she thinking reel to reel? Did she use to own one of them?

"Movie player?"

"NO! The. Round. Thing."


"The thing you put a needle on."

"Record player??"


thunks head on desk

"Mom, that's like two centuries ago technology, and they don't play movies!"

"Yes well, I like them."

Calling Border Control!

Dear Border Control,

You've let EWO ooze past your security gate and back into America.
She's been holed up here for 2 weeks visiting my brother and has harrassed called me every day.
Tomorrow she slithers goes back your way towards her lair home in your country.
Please keep closer tabs on her slither activity.

Thank you.



Most memorable comment from EWO phone conversation today:

"Can you believe "girlchild" has a phone in her room?
What child of 9 yrs old has a phone in her room?
Oh look, her phone is missing.
I bet she's talking to her friends running up a phone bill for her parents.
She's so spoiled.
Oh wait...
I have her phone.
I'm using it to to talk to you!"

Monday, July 09, 2007

Happy Post-4th!

So, how was everyone's 4th of July? Hmm?

Mine was grand :) Got to watch the big fireworks with friends and the best part, I got to watch them with MiniWarrior this year as the 4th landed on the day he was at my house instead of his Dads.

Before the big fireworks display, MiniWarrior, his friend and his friends Mom and I, went to set off a few of our own. It was very windy and we were surrounded by beautiful condo's...so I put the kabosh on flying fireworks out of fear of setting them on fire! We had a good time sucking down smoke bomb smoke though. *sniff* ahhhh. Nothing beats the burn one feels way down deep in the lungs from inhaling firework smoke! *cough cough*

Friday night, MiniWarrior and I set off the remaining 6 Roman Candles, we had left over, in our backyard. I was afraid of setting things on fire, but too lazy to drive to the local park, so I came up with the grand idea of shooting them into our creek. Ever wonder how many things are invented because of laziness?!

We stood at the edge of our creek and held the Roman Candles, pointed downwards. I was amazed at how powerful they were! The little explosive balls shot out and whipped into the water, spun around then came flying back OUT of the water and exploded in the air. Holy Crap!

It was totally awesome!!

Some of the exploding balls burrowed into the sandy creek bed and exploded underwater. That ended up being ultra cool because bubbles would appear, float for awhile, then pop and wisps of smoke trickled out of them.

"Your a GENIUS, Mom!" MiniWarrior exclaimed as we stood watching the smoke bubbles sail across the creek.

Why, I believe the child is correct. *poofs out chest* I am indeed!

Friday, July 06, 2007


Remember Slip-N-Slide?

Remember soaping the strip of yellow Slip-N-Slide plastic, and your belly, then sssssssssssliding as fast as you could down the narrow runway?

Remember when grass burns on your belly and grit in your teeth meant a good ride?!

Good times, Folks.

Good times.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Happy 4th Of July!

Happy 4th of July, America

May your day be filled with love and laughter.

A salute and thank you to all our soldiers who are so far from home, fighting for our Country.

For a tear bringing, heart warming story, Click HERE

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Book Goodness!

Let me breath to you a name, Folks.

Janet Evanovich

I had been scouring the used bookstores for a copy of her first book in her number series "One for the money" to no avail. She is so immensely popular that her books do not stay on the shelf!

Borders (bookstore) sent me a $5.00 rewards email notice (you get cash back for money spent at their store over an accumulated time span) so I hot footed it over and snapped up "One For The Money" and "Two For The Dough".

I noticed she's already on book 13 in the series so I have a few to catch up. YAY!
I wolfed down "One For The Money" and I am busy scarfing on "Two For The Dough"

She's a WONDERFUL writer. Hilarious. If you haven't read her, do yourself a favor and pick one of her books up! Start with the first one though. She has characters that apparently follow through her books and you'll lose something if you start in the middle.

Monday, July 02, 2007

The Kat Is Not Pleased

Now that Summer has arrived you bloggers have slacked off on blogging.

*lowers my reading glasses and peers out at you with a stern look*

This, my friends, is not acceptable.

I need bloggage! I have needs!

I don't care if all you have to blog about is that you're wearing your favorite pink undies today--
...actually...that's a bit disturbing and I'm not all that sure I wanna know that particular tidbit of information...
just, please, I'm begging you here....BLOG!

Don't make me fling myself on the blog floor.
It's not pretty.
Trust me.

p.s. Those of you that have been blogging. You all get gold stars and and extra 15 minutes of recess.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Brain. Fried. Send. Help.


After reviewing the (dismal) job market for my line of work, I've decided to upgrade my skills and have been cram studying.

My brain is officially fried.

My only hope is that I'm studying the correct things. There are so many options out there!