The Weight Of Miraculous Debt

41 and some odd months ago, there was a discussion between medical staff on whether or not I should live.
Apparently I was stuck inside my mother and her life was at risk.
She intervened and demanded that I be saved. A pair of prying forceps later and I was dragged out to breath my first breath in this world.

A few years later I was licking an ice cream and riding my bike along Main street. My wheel hit the curb and I was thrown into the street. In the few stunned seconds as I lay there I watched the wheel of a car slide towards my face and abruptly stop as it touched the tip of my nose.
An old lady staggered from inside the car and screamed over and over how "She shouldn't be driving. She had just come back from a Doctor's visit and he had said her reflexes were so impaired she must give up driving." Strangers plucked me from the street and brushed me off while the old lady continued her rant.
After concluding that I was unhurt, the crowd dispersed and I clambered back onto my bike and shakily headed home.

Fast forward to my 20th year. Swimming in the Ocean in St. Croix with a friend. We scoured the ocean floor for Conch shells. I swam out to a grassy line in the sand thinking this would be a good hiding place for shells. I tried to swim past the line in the sand to search the sea grass. Try as I might, I could not break past the line of grass in the sand to move further out. It was like hitting a glass wall. I turned my head to see my friends eyes showing wide and scared through her goggles as she watched me swim frantically in place. She motioned for us to swim back to shore.
As we lay gasping on the beach she told me how she watched me swim furiously but how my body didn't move one inch forward. I panted and told her that it had felt like I was hitting against a glass wall. We lay there for awhile and pondered this puzzling phenomenon then headed back to the house of the people we were staying with.
Later that night over spaghetti, I told my tale of the line in the sand and watched Ivan's (the Man of the house) face grow pale.
He explained to me of the many natives that had died swimming innocently past that line in the sand. Apparently, this was the division of passive ocean and the beginning of a deadly riptide. If I had crossed that line, I would have been dead.

A few years later, back in my home town, I was driving my car down a hill in the moody light of dusk. I accelerated as at the end of the hill the light was green. Just as my car was crossing into the intersection a car came barrelling from my left, blowing through his red light. There was no time for evasive maneuvering, I could see the shadowed shape of the driver as he plunged towards me. I closed my eyes and braced for impact.
I opened them a few seconds later to see the car now miraculously on the other side of the intersection continuing on in his wild ride.

To this day I cannot explain how he missed me. There was no screech of tires. There was no sound. He was moving too quickly to have swerved around me. He was heading directly for my drivers side door.

It's a mystery. But the real mystery to me is the question of "Why" that has followed all the near misses in my life. These few that I've listed are the bigger, obvious misses of Deaths knock on my door. There are many other simpler times that can be easily explained with a shrug of the shoulder and the wink of "Phew! I was sure lucky!"

I haven't done any remarkable action that would explain the reason for my being saved. If there is indeed a reason and not just blind luck. If I were to fade away there wouldn't be great mourning and an obvious rift in the Universe.

I've been thinking of late, perhaps I should change that. It seems ungrateful of me to continue on without paying back somehow the gift of life that's been handed back to me so many miraculous times.