The Chatter Of Solitude

It was a beautiful Fall evening when I pulled up to my house.
Guido, the cat, greeted me at the door with a hungry meow.

Tossing my work bag down, I gave him a friendly scritch then lumbered to the kitchen to fill his bowl with his nightly scoop of soft food. He hunkered down over his dinner with a pleased purr. The house was quiet with the empty feel it gets when it's just Guido and I and MiniWarrior is at his Dad's house. The air had a slight Northwest damp feel to it. I shivered lightly in the shadows of the kitchen then wandered into the living room to set the trappings for a fire in the fireplace.

A couple of trips back and forth to the garage wood bin later, I crouched by the fireplace and watched the flames of the new fire begin to envelop the logs. The crackling sounds filled the emptiness of the house and Guido butted up against me in approval. Feline belly full, he stretched and lay down on the fireplace rug beside me.

I stood after a bit and stared out the tall living room window watching the Swan and his faithful duck companion swim along the banks of my backyard creek; the Swans long white neck stretching out from time to time to nibble at the young ferns that grow along the creek bed.

The blue of the sky was turning a sleepy evening grey. The hot tub beckoned me. I nodded to myself, checked the stability of the crackling fire, and headed out for an evening soak.

Lifting the cover off, the heat from the hot tub fought with the crisp fall air and created an other worldly steam battle. I stepped into the cloud and slid into the hot bubbling water with a contented sigh.

I let my mind float free for awhile. Letting the days build up of tiny stresses drift away. I smiled to myself. This was a nice time in my life. The brief period of calm that restores your insides and prepares you for future events. I felt a trickle of worry slide down my mental spine at the thought of future events to come. The unknown hovered around inside me like the cloud that followed the Pigpen character from Charley Brown.

"This happiness comes with a future cost." My battered soul whispered to me. I closed my eyes and tried to shake the thought away.

"Don't borrow trouble from tomorrow." I muttered back at the pessimistic finger shaking inside me.

The wounds from this past year were still too fresh to quell the fear snaking inside me. I peeled myself from the warmth of the hot tub and headed back inside to drown the voices warring inside me with the crackling sound of the fire.